The Magical Daughter (Snape's perspective)
by CaptainWriter
Summary: This is the The Magical Daughter story from Snape's perspective. I recommend to first read some chapters from the The Magical Daughter story from Ellea's perspective. This story can be found on my account.
1. The girl

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**This is the The Magical Daughter story from Snape's perspective. This chapter from Snape's perspective is based on chapter 9 in the The Magical Daughter story from Ellea's point of view.**

I was waiting. Waiting for the train. Waiting for her, the girl, Ellea was her name. A beautiful name for a girl he had to admit.

She had taken the train, a fast way of traveling for muggles... but she wasn't a muggle. She was a witch. A witch in the Muggle World. "I have given her her abilities." I thought while I leaned against a wall on the platform on wich the train would stop.

I sighed and thought about the case again. "I have a daughter. I never knew and have never longed for one. But it's mine... Well, who says it's mine? The girl just sent a letter to Dumbledore and the man took that as enough evidence for me being the father? Dumbledore could say so much, but I'm sure that kid isn't mine. It just isn't mine."

I looked at the people on the platform. People with nice suits, people with beards, people without beards, people with long hair and so on. They were all different, but had one thing in common: they wanted to leave this place, just like me, but I couldn't.

All the muggles were waiting. The people were too busy with their own life to notice me- a man standing in a dark corner of the platform.

I sighed again and kept telling myself the kid wasn't mine. I didn't even convince myself, how could I ever convince others the kid wasn't mine?

I thought about it again. "We had sex... once, so it is technically possible. The kid has the age to be conceived on that particular evening..." I frowned. "Oh stop this madness Severus Snape! You are not the bloody father of that kid! Not even if you wanted it!"

I had to distract myself from my own mind, so I repeated the steps of Dumbledore's plan in my head. "I will step into the train when it arrives, search for the girl and take her out of the train. Then, Dumbledore, the girl and I disapparate to Cokeworth." A good plan he had to admit. Dumbledore was a smart man.

More people filled the platform. A friendly looking woman caught my attention. She wore a long, purple skirt, a white blouse and a long black coat. Her long black hair matched her coat. It swept in the wind when she looked in one direction of the railway.

"Would the girl look like me?" I suddenly thought. I was surprised by my own mind. It had been a long time ago since I had been surprised by my own mind. "Don't get delusional now. She probably won't, cause she isn't yours." I tried to convince myself, but still it wasn't working. The facts were to strong and I had always been a man of facts.

He sighed and looked at the filling platform again. Waiting. He had never liked waiting. It was a waste of time. No one who wouldn't agree with that. But I was patient and would never complain about waiting. I always stayed a civilized man. Or I liked to believe that.

The woman still stood at her place at the edge of the platform and looked at her surroundings. Was she waiting for the train to get in herself? Or was she here to await friend? Or her husband? Or someone else? I wondered about it. Normally I couldn't care about what other people did- or what muggles did-, but I had nothing better to do at the moment.

A loud squeak pulled him out of his reverie. Everyone looked at the right and we saw the train. It stopped and the doors opened.

Muggles steppted out of the train and headed for the exit of the railway station. Even more muggles wanted to get in at the same time. I rolled my eyes and laughed slightly. "Stupid muggles. That will never work. Just be patient and this will go faster." I guessed I had to just force myself through the crowd of muggles to get into the strain to start my search. I walked to the doors and on that exact moment, a young girl stormed through the crowd of people and ran to the end of the platform to get tot he exit.

The pale girl had long, greasy, black hair. It swept behind her when she ran and sometimes touched her backpack. I stared at her for a moment and recognized myself a bit. The thought sent a shiver down my spine. "Would my worse thoughts be true? Could that be..."

He got pulled out of his reverie again. However, this time it wasn't the train, it was someone who nearly fell out of it while yelling: that's that missing orphan! Stop her!

I frowned. "Well, I guess I don't have to search the train anymore." I looked at Dumbledore, who stood in another dark corner. He would have waited outside the train and look out for the girl incase the girl would have stepped out while I was searching inside the train. That wasn't necessary anymore.

Dumbledore looked back at me at me and nodded. He had noticed the yelling too, just like all the muggles who were standing at the platform and gazing in the girls direction.

Dumbledore walked to me and we speed walked after her. Dumbledore's long, brown muggle coat swung behind him as we tried to follow the girl who had just ran away.

We walked through the door to the platform and were in the general hall.

We looked around and saw the girl. She was still running and clearly disoriented. She had caught even more even more attention. Police was chasing her and I doubted if she was going to win it. One girl aginst two muggle police officers? Probably not.

The girl ran around the corner. I wanted to follow her, but Dumbledore grabbed my arm and said: "I know a shorter way." I looked at the man in confusion, cause how could he possibly know, but than I saw the twinkles in his eyes. He had a plan. And of course he had. He was the smartest, wisest and most powerful man I knew. Even more powerful than Gellert Grindelwalt. Maybe even more powerful than the Dark Lord.

Dumedore speed walked to and through a small dark alley between two shops.

The alley was filled with garbage bags and a disgusting smell. The muscles in my nose resisted taking up the foul odor. However, even if I breated through my mouth, I nearly tasted the smell. I sighed in abomination. "How could those dirty muggles create something so dirty?" I asked myself. The smell didn't seem to hurt Dumbledore. He just walked furthur without looking back.

On the end of the alley stood a group of men, heavily talking to each other. They paid no attention to me or Dumbledore who were, for them, atrange people in a dark alley.

We were nearly at the end of the alley when we saw the girl bumb into the group of men. She fell to the ground, just as one of the men. The men bowed over their friend to help him and paid no attention to the girl what's however. This was our chance.

I snatched the girls upperarm and pulled her closer to myself. The girl had become disoriented by her fall and didn't protest.

I grabbed her other upperarm and pulled her even closer to myself. I looked at Dumbledore who nodded. We disapperated.

I opened my eyes again and saw the surroundings of the countryside just outside Cokeworth.

I looked at the girl who's legs had become weak and fell into my arms. She puked and I said: "that's normal for a first time" to comfort her and make her stop puking, but I got the idea it didn't help, cause she puked again.

Disapperating wasn't easy to undergo. Nearly everyone puked after doing it for a first time. I had also puked my first time disapperating. She was no exception to the rule.

I nearly felt sorry for the girl that was hanging in my arms. Nearly. I knew the feeling couldn't come from thinking she was my daughter. Did I? I admonished myself and told my mind I would feel the same way if another kid hung in my arms like that. Right?

The girl got up and thanked me for holding her. I simply said: "you're welcome." with my normal velvet voice.

She was still looking, still bowed, at the ground, at the grass. She shook her head a bit. She was clearly in some kind of shock.

She turned her head a bit to the right and looked at my black shoes. I looked at them too. "Why does she find them so fascinating? They are just normal black shoes. Or do muggles don't wear those?" I wondered.

She straightened her back and looked in the distance. She was clearly surprised by what she saw. She frowned and looked confused.

Her mouth fell open. "How can this happen?" she asked open-eyed. "Apparation." I replied. "We apparated." I said after a small pause.

"What?" she asked still confused. She turned to me and stared in my eyes.

This was the first time I really got the chance to look at her face. She was pale and had a slightly hooked nose just like... me. I had been right about the black hair, it was greasy and looked just like... mine.

She stared in my eyes for a moment. I did the same, but than in hers. She had her mother's eyes...

"The kid is indeed mine." I thought for a brief second, but admonished myself a second later. "It isn't! It's still not proven it is mine. She can have black, greasy hair, have a pale skin and a slightly hooked nose, but that's no proof! There are a lot of kids with those features. It isn't mine. I don't want a child and have never wanted."

But then I looked at all the facts. "She is Lynn's daughter. Definitely. She lookes so much like her. Her eyes, her chin, her cute cheeks... but if I that means in this thoughts that the girl is hers, than she also is mine. Her hair, her nose, her pale skin... bloody hell! What am I thinking!"

On that moment, our staring got interrupted by Dumbledore. "Ellea I suppose?" She turned around to look at him.

"Yes?" she said interrogatively. "My name is professor Albus Dumbledore. I am the head master of Hogwarts and that man over there is… well he can tell that himself." He gestured with his hand to me.

The girl looked at me again. Her gaze made me sweat. It seemed like I had forgotten me own name, but found it somewhere in my mind at the right moment " I am Severus Snape." I said way too tensed.

Her eyes widened She examined me better. It made me feel even more uncomfortable.

"Really?" she asked unbelievingly while looking right into my dark eyes.

I didn't respond tot hat. I had no idea about what to say. She looked back at the ground. "But… w-w- why… how… I just…" she started, but didn't finish it.

"I think we can better talk somewhere else." Dumbeldore said nicely.

"Are we going to, how do you call that, apparate again?" she asked Dumbledore with a overtone of 'I don't want'.

"No, we are not" Dumbledore said with a small grin. "We are going to walk if you don't mind."

"Oh, I don't mind." she said a bit too relieved. I had to smile a bit at that remark, but didn't show it.

Dumbledore lauged and she laughed with him, but very uneasily. I could imagne why.

She took a quick look at me. It made her feel uncomfortable too and turned back quickly.

Dumbledore had stopped laughing and gestured her to come with him. She walked over to Dumbledore and when she had nearly reached him, he started walking. She walked besides him. I followed them on a meter distance. I didn't want to walk next to them. I actually didn't want to talk to the girl. "She isn't your!" I kept telling to myself.

We didn't talk for minutes as we walked over the road through the meadows. On both sides of the road were trees and I was occupying myself with looking at the landscape. The girl seemed to do the same.

The silence was interupted by Dumbledore, who said: "you must have a lot of questions don't you?" He looked at her with a gently smile.

"I do, sir." she said. He smiled again. "Your parents raised you well. You have good manners." He stated. "Thank you, sir" she replied. "her parents…" I thought.

The girl suddenly turned around to look at me. I started sweating again. I felt like she had heard my thoughts, but I knew she couldn't. Or could she? If she had his genes, the chance would be there.

She turned back to Dumbledore and stayed silent.

"I got your letter." Dumbledore said a moment later. The girl looked surprised, Dumbledore did aswell. "Why so surprised?" He asked gently. "I have never sent a letter per owl before, so I didn't know if Rowan would find his way to Hogwarts." she repied. "Rowan?" He asked. "Oh, that's the name of my owl. I wonder where he is." "He is at the owlery at Hogwarts. Rowan looked undernourished and was tired of the long trip. He is in safe hands. Hagrid is taking care of him." Dumbledore explained. "Who is Hagrid?" she asked curiously. "He is the man who takes care of chores that have to be done around Hogwarts. He is very good with animals and knows a lot about them."

They were talking about Hogwarts. The place where I had heard about her existence.

It had been a normal day at Hogwarts. I had taught all my classes. One of my students had blown up his cauldron, so I had to clean that, but overall, it had been a normal day.

It was evening and I did like I did every evening, I had withdrawn to my own chamber in the castle. My own place deep in the dungeons of Hogwarts.

I was sitting in my comfy armchair, reading a book about Herbology and enjoying a glass of fire wiskey when someone knocked on the door of my compartment. I was sighed in irritation, put my book aside and walked to the door. "Probably a first year student who forgot his way to the boysrooms again." I thought. The dungeons looked like a labyrinth for newcomers, but it wasn't hard to find your ways around if you were an older Slytherin.

I opened the door with a frown, but quickly changed my way of looking when I saw Dumbledore standing infront of me. He smiled.

"Good evening." I said surprised. I had not expected Dumbledore at this time of day. "Good evening." Dumbledore responded. "Could I come in?" "Of course." I replied, stepped aside and gestured him to get in.

Dumbledore passed me and seated himself at the couch- on wich no one had seated him- or herself in years, since he never got any visitors-.

I observed Dumbledore's movements in the corners of my eyes while I walked back to my comfy armchair. Dumbledore looked at a paper in his hands. "Why would he be here?" I asked myself, but that question was soon to be answered.

I stopted infront of mt chair and turned to Dumbeldore. "Do you want something to drink?" The old man smiled. "You have always been a good host, Severus. But, no thank you" I nodded and seated myself.

"What can I do for you, Albus?" I asked him inquisitively. Dumbledore looked at the paper in his hand and then returned his gaze to me.

"I received a letter today." he paused for a moment. I kept looking at him.

"It's about you, Severus." "Is it bad, Albus? You can just tell me." Dumbledore smiled. "I could do that, but I think it's better if you read it yourself." He bowed forward and handed me the paper in his hands. I read:

_Dear headmaster of Hogwarts,_

_My name is Ellea and to be straight, I am the daughter of Severus Snape. I never knew he is my biological father. I found this out just a few days ago._

_My parents have passed away last week. I found out that my mom has left me a letter with a lot of information about me._

_The letter included things about the Magical World, Hogwarts, magic and that I am a witch. I grow up in the Muggle World and I have never known about all these things, so it was a bit of a shock. But what was even a bigger shock is that she wrote me that the man of whom I had always thought to be my father, actually is not my father. She wrote me that a man called: Severus snape is my biological father._

_She so wrote me he doesn't know of my existence and that she had written him a lot of letters to tell him about me. But she got them al back, unopened._

_She wrote me he had the ambition to become the potionsmaster at Hogwarts. I write this letter, because I want to know if he is right now. I am searching for him and this could be a good start. If he doesn't work at Hogwarts, do you know him? Or maybe people who know him?_

_She wrote me that as far as she knew, he lives at Spinner's End in Cokeworth. I am now on my way tot hat town._

_Please write me a letter back as soon as you can._

_Kind regards,_

_Ellea_

I was surprised, but not in the way you would expect.

"How could a student come up with such a prank!? If I find to person who did this than..."

My furious thoughts were interupted by Dumbledore who asked: "what are your thoughts about this?" I looked at the old headmaster and glaced at him in surprise. "Come one, Albus! It's a sick joke. You must know that. Come one, Albus. You know me. I don't have a daughter!" Dumbledore nodded slowly.

"So you think it's a joke?" He asked slowly. I sighed in irritation and frowned at him. "Of cours it's a joke! Do you think I have a, by me neglected, kid somewhere in the world!?" I took a pause to wait for his answer, but Dumbledore said nothing. "I don't have a child. It's just a bad joke, Albus."

It was quiet for a moment. Albus stared at the letter. I stared at him.

"It could be true, what you are saying. Or... you just have never known about her existence." The man said quietly.

"With all the respect, Albus, but I have no idea when this would have..." I stopped. I really wanted to finish that sentence, but I couldn't. I knew the sentence wasn't true. I knew when it would have happened. That fateful night in the forest with... with her.

"You have got an idea, don't you, Severus?" I kept staring at the ground and didn't answer his question for a moment.

That fateful night in the forest. It should never have happened. That squib had lied to me. She had later gone to the Muggle world. Now, she wasn't more than a insignificant muggle woth a bit more knowledge about magic than other muggles. But that squibs were not infertile...

She could have gotten pregnant after that night. She could have gotten a child. A chikd that wasn't only hers, but also his.

"But if she was, why did she never..." I stopped thinking, cause she probably had. She probably had contacted me about it, but I was too stupid to open the letters. I thought she wanted me again. And in a certain way she wanted, but not like I had expected. "My bloody ego!" A yelled in my mind. I bit my lip in frustration.

The chance I had a child somewhere increased. I started to feel some sweat on his handpalm and bit my lip even harder. I had never wanted a child of my own. And I still didn't.

"Stop it, Severus." I told my mind firmly inside of my head. "There is still a chance it isn't yours. Who says she is the child of Lynn? That's not in the letter. And even if she is, who says it's yours? So, just relax."

Dumbledore pulled my out of my nervous reverie and looked at me with a compassionate frown. "What is it, Severus?"

Did I wanted to tell him? About the past? No, I didn't but I had to. I never asked for help. I always did things on my own, but now, I thought that Dumbledore's help would do good.

"Well... there is one time..." I took a pause.

"It... well... there is a chance..." I stammerd. I had no idea how to tell him this. I could barely tell it myself. I wanted too much she wasn't mine.

"You could be the father?" Dumbledore asked. "I could... There is a chance, but I don't know if the woman... I slept with, is her mother. And even if that woman is her mother, there is still a chance I am not the father." Dumbledore nodded.

"You are right. There is a chance you are not. But there is also a chance you are." He stated friendly, but I sighed in frustration. "Yes... there is."

A silence filled the room. I looked at my bed. I wanted to go and lie underneath the blankets and feel my own body warmth to comfort myself. I just needed time to process everything.

"What are you going to do with this information, Severus?" "On the moment, I honestly don't know."

"Do you want to find out if it is yours?" I sighed. Normally I didn't like so much questions, but now, I didn't care.

"Yes... well... I don't know. I think I need some time to think." "Well, the thing is, we don't have time at the moment. She will take the train to Cokeworth the next morning." I nodded. Dumbledore was right. I needed to make decisions now.

"Yeah, I need to find out if I am her father." I told him firmly. Dumbledore nodded with a smile on his face. "I knew you would do the right thing."

Dumbledore stood up and looked right into my eyes. "Take some rest. This all... you need time to process everything. I will work out a plan for tomorrow. I will tell you the plan after breakfast." I nodded.

"Well, good night, Severus." "Good night, Albus." I stood up and wanted to open the door for him, but Dumbledore said: "don't worry. I can do it myself." He walked to the door, looked one time at me again and stepped into the corridor again.

I seated myself in my armchair again a d grabbed my glass of firewiskey. I poured it down my throat all at once and poured myself another one. The warm feeling of the firewiskey filled my belly, then my chest, then the rest of my body. It relieved me from some tensity.

I leaned back in my chair and thought about what had happened.

I sighed to let some more tensity out of my body and closed my eyes.

"A child. My? Don't think so." I said out loud with a grin on my face. I grabbed the glass of firewiskey and drank it the whole glass empty again. The warmth spread again and some tensity disappeared again.

"It's just a sick joke." And yet again I drank a whole glass of firewiskey.

I kept telling myself it wasn't my chil, but somewhere deep inside, I knew the chance was high it was.

I didn't pour myself a new glass. Instead, I grabbed the whole bottle and took some gulps, edaciously.

I drank my tensity away. A thing I hadn't done since the death of Lilly

"Oh, Lilly." I thought while bringing the bottle to my lips again. "You should see me now. Drinking my misery away. Were you also like that when you found out you were having a kid?" I smiled and drank again. I was getting drunk. I would have never dared to think something like that if I wasn't.

"And that kid, what was her name again?" I tried to think clearly, but the alcohol obstructed the working of my mind. "Whatever. It's not mine, so see if I care." I laughed out loud and took another big gulp. The bottle was empty now.

I looked at the empty bote and frowned. I was so drunk, I knew. It was better to go to bed.

I stood up to walm to my bed, but my sense of balance was gone, just like my sobriety. I fell on the ground and looked at the room, everything was blurry. I had gone way to far.

I pulled myself up on the armchair and roamed to my bed. While crawling underneath my blankets, I felt ashamed. "Even if I am the father, I'm not ready for raising a child. Lucky me I'm not." I smiled and fell asleep with my cloths still on.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The next morning I woke up with an enormous headache. "The hangover, of cours. I had already expected you." I thought sarcasticly.

I washed myself, pulled some clean clothes on and walked to my own potions box inside my drawer. I got out a potions wich would reduce my headache.

I walked out of my compartment to join breakfast. While walking through the dungeons, I noticed that my potion did his job. "Of cours it does, I am the potions master at Hogwarts." I thought proudly.

Breakfast was like always. The students were annoyingly loud- even the Slytherins, my Slytherins- and the teachers were talking about the day they were going to have. I normally didn't care about the breakfast conversations, those were boring, cause who can truely know how their day is exactly going to be? No one. Even professor Trelawney couldn't do that that fastly.

That's a wrong example, cause Trelawney isn't exactly good in her job. All of the proffesors knew, but most professors said she was a nice person to be around and she taught good enough for the students. And yes, Trelawney was a good-hearted person and sometimes nice to be around, but most of the time I found her to be obnoxious. Always her floaty comments. Disgusting.

I have never joined the morning conversations and everybody has always thought I did that, cuase I wasn't a morning person. But that wasn't the case.

"The afternoon and supper conversations are much nicer" I thought again, like every morning. "After the morning, the conversations are about other subjects. Subjects I like more. Things like new spells or someone who asks me somethings about potions."

Breakfast ended. The teachers and students went to their lessons. I walked through the door for the teachers and staff, out of the great hall.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It startled me a bit, but as always, I didn't show it to people. I quickly turned afound and saw Dumbledore.

"Good morning, Severus. Can I talk to you for a minute?" I nodded. Dumbledore had a plan. The twinkle in his eyes betrayed it.

"What's your plan, Albus?" "Well, she wrote she is going to to Cokeworth today." I nodded in understanding. "I the train stops at a lot of stations between King's Cross station. I think it's a good idea if we wait for her on one of the stations. We search for her in the train, take her out and leave." I nodded again.

"And how do we find out if she is really mine?" I asked him. Dumbledore nodded. "I have thought about that." I listened carefully. "Do you remember the Bolbozar potion?" Dumbledore asked. "I can imagne if you don't. It's not used that much."

"Of cours!" I thought like I was more awake now. "I haven't thought about that one. How could I forget it."

"Yes, I remember. I had forgotten about that one." I told him a bit regretfully. I hadn't been myself since I had heard about the girl. Normally, I wouldn't forget something, but this situation wasn't normal. It was everything except normal. I shamed myself for not adapting to the situation that easily, cause normally I did, but like I just mentioned, this wasn't normal. Everything except normal.

"Do you know how to make it?" Dumbledore asked. "I haven't made it before, but I could look it up in a book." I replied. "I have got the book for you. You can make it later if you still want it around that time." I looked confused at the old man. "Why wouldn't I want to test it?" The headmaster shook his head a bit. "You will find out soon enough I think." I still looked confused. However, now it was mixed with a feeling of irritation. I hated it when people didn't tell me the full story.

"We need to go to the railway station now." Dumbledore said. "The train will arrive 20 mintutes from now."

We walked to the apparition place. Apparirating wasn't hard to do if someone had done it before. It required a lot of practise. A lot of wizards and witches didn't take the time to learn it, but if they ever did, they would notice how usefull it was.

We arrived at the apparition place. I asked Dumbledore: "where are we going to?" The man smiled. "Hold my arm. I am going to bring us."

I felt a bit uncomfortable by his remark. I nearly never touched someone else and I actually wanted to keep it that way. Even though it was Dumbledore- a man I trust with my life-.

I grabbed his upperarm none the less and didn't show my emotions about it. The old man just smiled.

We apparated ourselves to a small, dark alley just outside the railway station.

Dumbledore wanted to walk out of the alley, but I stopped him. "I think we will draw a lot of unwanted attention if we stay in our 'wizard' clothing." Dumbledore nodded. "You are right, Severus.

Dumbledore looked at a trash bag against the wall. He got his wand out of his pocket and transfigured the trash bag in a long, brown coat. He lifted the coat of the fround and pulled in on. "This will do, don't you think?" he asked friendly. "Yes, I think it will." I replied.

"Better I think." Dumbledore remarked. I simply nodded.

We walked in, I followed Dumbledore. I had forgotten to untie my capez so we drew some attention, but things went good. We headed to the platform and suited ourselves in sepperate dark corners to wait for the train.

And now I was here, walking on a country road just outside my hometown, Cokeworth. Well...home. I felt myself more at home at Hogwarts than in Cokeworth, even though I had grown up at Hogwarts. Well... grown up. I had grown up in Cokeworth till I was old enough to go to Hogwarts yes, but when I was old to go to Hogwarts, I never came home that much after I had attended Hogwarts.

And why? Cause my father was frequently drunk wich made him aggressive towards everyone, but most of the time it was my mom who he was aggressive to. He shouted frequently at her while I crouched in a corner and cryed.

There was a small pause in the conversation. The girl looked over her shoulder again at stared at my face. Her eyes had pulled my out of my reverie and I sweated again. She turned back quickly like she had done the last time she had turned around to stare at me.

Dumbledore broke the silence with saying: "after I got your letter, I informed Severus about the letter." Dumbledore had stopped talking. The girl asked: "and then?" "You can ask Severus." Dumbledore said gently. "I have to go now. I am sorry, but I have very important things to do in the Wizarding World. I hope you don't mind." He said. "No sir, it was nice to meet you." she said gently. "Yes it was Ellea." He said while looking at the girl.

He took two steps away from teh girl and said: "goodbye to you two." I nodded at him.

Dumbledore transformed into a small mess of moving blue that flew into the air and in a matter of seconds, the mess disappeared.

"Shall we go?" I asked uneasily a moment after he had disapparated. "Uh, yeah." she replied.

We walked on the road and both looked at the scenery. It looked beautiful in the sunlight, but I was soo tensed, I couldn't enjoy it. I had soo many questions, but I felt soo strange. Something retained me from asking them.

"Where are we?" she asked me.

"We are in Cokeworth." I simply replied. "And where are we going to?" "We are going to my house. It's close to the end of this road."

The conversation went very uneasily up tot his point. The girl claerly wanted to talk, but I didn't. I had no idea what to say to her.

"Could you complete the story wich Dumbledore had started?" she asked without looking at me. She was straight to the point if she had to. A could quality… sometimes. For her it was a good time o use that quality. It wasn't a good time for me.

I sighed. It wasn't a reluctant sigh, but one of inner pain. And why? Cause I so much wanted her to not be my daughter.

I stared into the distance. I couldn't keep the answers from her. That would create problems, now and later on. I started talking. "After Dumbledore had received your letter, he gave it to me. I read it and…" I took a pause and looked at the ground. How could I tell her all of this? I couldn't tell her I actually didn't want her. That would create even more problems.

"You should know that I have never known about you. Otherwise, I think that things would have gone differently." I said.

"You have never read the letters of my mom did you?" she asked. "No." I replied. "I thought that the letters contained other information. It was better for me and Lynn… your mom, to split up." I explained.

"Did you really love her, my mom?" The girl asked me straight to the point. I sweated again. The girl made my so tensed with all of her questions, but I had to answer them.

"On that moment, I did. But afterwards, not anymore." I replied.

I stopted walking and turned to the girl. We stood infront each other and I looked right into her eyes.

"You should just know that I have never known about you. I could have, but I was stupid. You can live with me if you want, cause you are my daughter after all, I think, we need to test that, but I can also imagne if you don't, cause what I did to your mom was just wrong. So, do you want to?" I kind of hoped she wouldn't want to, but it was up to her to answer it. However, she didn't do it that quickly and took her time tot hink about it.

"Do you really want it? Cause I can imagne that a girl, who says to be your daughter, that appears soo suddenly can feel a bit unconfortable."

Her remark was sweet, but the firt thing I thought was: "you really think so?" It was sarcasticly, a thing I was really good at.

"I am good with it . Don't worry." A smile on appeared on my face to show her it was all right if she said 'yes', even though I wanted her to say 'no'. But if she said 'no' now, he had to take her in anyway if she appeared to be his daughter after all. Both outcomes were not great for me.

"you are soo much like your mother. I am soo sorry for you." I said honestly. A sad frown appeared on my face. This wasn't a lie. The girl had lost her complete family on such a young age. I wondered how I must have felt when I had lost Lilly on her age. I couldn't imagne it.

"I am sorry for your loss to." the girl said with a sad frown. I gave her a sad smile in return.

I felt the urge to comfort the girl. "Why?" I asked myself. "Why do I want to comfort a child?" I had never comforted one of my students at Hogwarts. Why was this girl an exception? Because I tried to compare my feelings about the loss of Lilly with her feelings about the loss of her family? Probably.

I wanted to comfort the young girl, probably because it would make me feel better too. The death of Lilly had made me feel terrible. Her death still felt fresh and the feelings of her loss had never faded away.

But how was I going to do comfort the child- well actually me-?

I placed my right hand on her left upperarm and shuffled my hand over her arm with the intention to console her, but it didn't work. It only made her sadder. Tears filled her eyes and her legs got weaker. She couldn't stop herself from bursting out in tears.

Her reaction surprised me. That wasn't what I had planned to do. Why was the girl crying? How was I going to fix this?

She bowed her neck, put her hands infront of her eyes and was crying.

What could I do about this? I had only made the situation worse with my selfish thoughts. "You are an idiot, Severus Snape." I thought firmly. The thought made me frown. The truth was hard sometimes.

I put my arms around the kid. It felt very uncomfortable at first, cause I hadn't hugged someone in decades, but she relaxed a bit. I did a good thing. I relaxed a bit too.

I put my hand on the back of her head and pushed her a bit closer to my body. It was very uneasy and out of my comfort zone to do it, but it relieved me from the feelings about the loss of Lilly. The girl did me a favor and I did her a favor.

After a moment, I pulled back and put my hands on her shoulders. "Better now?" I asked. "Yeah, I feel better now. Thanks" The girl smiled. I smiled back.

She looked at my with her eyes still full of tears. But now, they were happy tears.

"I'm sorry." she said regretfully. I looked confused at her. "Why are you sorry?" "For the crying infront of you." she sobbed. I slightly smiled. "I could have known. You are too good for people, you know. You have that from your mom." he said with a sad smile. "Come, we are going home." He said afterwards.

I put my arm around her and we walked further. Even tough I still hoped she wasn't mine, she wasn't the worst kid in the world.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**Wow! Is it wrong what Snape did? Not wanting her to be his daughter and hugging the kid for ( most of) his own comfort? But he still helped her, you know. Dilemmas, dilemmas.**

**More chapters from Snape's perspective will follow. Not every week, but sometimes when important things happen.**

**When I upload a chapter from Ellea's and Snape's perspective, don't expect a new chapter from Ellea's and/or Snape's perspective the week after. The chapters from Snape's point of view will be bigger than the ones from Ellea, cause I won't post a chapter from Snape's perspective every week. I need time to write and edit the story and doing Snape's perspective besides the story from Ellea's perspective takes a lot of time. I hope you respect this.**

**Keep checking the The Magical Child story on my account to know how the story continues.**

**So, no chapter(s) next week. The next chapter from ellea's point of view will be posted the week after next week.**

**See you later!**

**Well, see you later readers!**


	2. Captive

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**This chapter from Snape's perspective is based on chapter 28 in _The Magical Daughter_ story from Ellea's point of view (which you can find underneath my profile as well).**

**Enjoy!**

And there I was, in a Muggle prison cell. How deep I have sunk? And why, I didn't quite get. Everything had gone so quickly. People can say a lot about Muggles, but they are quick, very quick if they want to.

I looked around and saw white walls. The prison cell was an exact square with a white block against the back wall, on which I sat. No window, no blanket, no pillow or whatever. Only a silver toilet and a yellow light bulb attached to the ceiling. A grid shielded someone from touching it. Not that I felt the urge to touch it, but I slightly observed the light, since it was the only thing to watch at in the small room- that wasn't smelly-.

I hadn't been long in here, I thought, I hoped. I started losing my track of time, since there was no clock or anything to check the time.

I had already lost my anger about the situation. I had been here too long to still be angry. I sighed and imagined that it had been a long time in here then.

My anger had turned into irritation and despondency. The Muggles had taken my wand- probably because they thought I could go and smack people with it or something. Smacking people with my wand, how absurd. I would presumably just jinx them when they were not looking.-, so the chance of escaping was pretty low. Escaping? Was that really my best option? _Don't think so_, I thought. _But what are better ones? Just sit here and wait? For Muggles?_

Why was I even here? I thought about what had happened again. I had been inside, reading. Ellea had been outside, taking care of the owls. At that very moment, a shiver went down my spine. Ellea. The girl. Where would she be?

I frowned and realised I still thought about her as 'the girl'. I had to stop doing that. The test had revealed that she was indeed mine, so I had to act like it. I had to show responsibility for the child. I tried to bargain with myself about it, but I came to the same conclusion every time I tried.

_I show enough responsibility already. I have showed her some magic, so she can get used to it. I have allowed her to read all the book, even the ones about the Dark Arts and I had taken her to Diagon Alley to buy new clothes_. I nodded and tried to convince myself. It didn't quite worked.

I frowned. "Oh, come on Severus. A child needs more than that," I out loud snarled to myself.

The nasty thought had pulled me out of my reverie and I stared at the light bulb again. I sighed. I had to admit that being here forced me to think about important things I didn't want to think about, but had to be thought about.

_Let's put the..._ I frowned again and thought grimly things of myself for a moment.

_Ellea. Let's put the thoughts about Ellea aside for a moment. Think about what has happened and try to figure out why you are here,_ I stated inside my mind. I sighed and started over again.

_I was inside, Ellea outside. Those muggles stormed in. I decided to not cast a spell. If I had done that, I would have ended up in Azkaban. Instead, I just stood there in surprise._ I frowned and hoped that all of this wouldn't get me into Azkaban. The Ministry knew nearly everything. Maybe they would help me out of here. However, I hoped not. I hoped they didn't know about all of this. It would only cause me trouble.

_The muggles had grabbed me tight._ _They had pushed me over and had put a sack over my head. Everything had been black from that point on. I frowned even more and remembered how frightened I had been at that moment. Presumably because I had no access to my wand. I was powerful with my wand. So powerful. But without it, I was just like them. Nothing more, nothing less. Equal to a muggle. I decided to never tell someone that- like I did with most feelings-._

_I tried to wrestle myself out of their grips, but the men were with too many and too strong for me, on my own, to win .The men put handcuffs around my wrists and pulled me back on my legs again. 'You're under arrest' one of the man had yelled. 'You have the right to remain silence' the man had added._

_They had pushed me outside, through the back door. I had felt the cold wind on my skin. I had stopped trying to get away. It was pointless. I couldn't win. They were with too many and I couldn't use my wand. I was outnumbered and lost. I had completely forgotten about Ellea at that point._ I felt a bit of quilt when I thought about it. I was a bad father at this point. Maybe my father and I had a similarity after all. Just one.

_When I had heard her voice… yell my name… my first name… no child had ever been allowed to call me by my first name. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was why it had felt so strange. So strange. Her voice had been so… full of… anxiousness. About me? About herself? Probably herself, cause why would those men let her go? But what if it was about me?_

I had to change, even though I had no idea how. How could I ever ask from Ellea to change if I didn't? How could I ever ask from her to adapt to the Wizarding World if I didn't help her? I was her father. It was my task to help her, even though I actually had never wished for it and even her entire existence. Yes, she was a mistake. She should have never been born. But she was and I had to deal with the consequences.

_I will try to be a 'better' father. Better than mine has ever been_, I stated in myself_._ And that wasn't hard. I wasn't a drunk and I wasn't planning on smacking the hell out of the kid

_Well, what do fathers do more?_ I thought deeply. _Protecting, I think. I can do that. More? I don't know._

_Wait, what are you doing, Severus!? You don't want to be her father, so don't even think about it! Why would you!?_

I needed to know why those muggles had locked me up in here. What had I done wrong? I had done nothing out of the ordinary except... Ellea. It had to have something to do with her, but what? I decided to take another look at what had happened.

_The muggles had lead me outside. _The thought made me scared. Not for now, but for what was coming, the future, what would this cause? However, I had tried to not show the muggles my wariness. I sighed. I was still afraid of what was coming. The future is always frightening when you are a spy between Death Eaters. Always.

_I had been pushed by someone in my side and had lost my balance. Others had caught me and held me even tighter as if I had tried to escape. On that moment, I heard a shout. The voice had sounded familiar. I turned my head towards the sound as a reflex, while the Muggle men were still pushing me forwards. Severus!_ I could still hear her voice in my head. I stopped myself from sinking in thinking about it again. I had to set things straight for myself.

_The men had stopped roughly me and had turned me around. I felt arms grab my feet and I startled and out of reflex I started to move my legs uncontrollably. I tried to kick around, even though I knew I had already lost. It had been an act out of instinct, I think. The men started moving quickly as I started kicking and the grips on my body tightened._

_A pair of hands had grabbed my armpits and had lifted me up. They were followed by the hands around my legs. For a moment I had been completely loose from the ground. I had lost contact with the floor and had been completely defenceless, unprotected, I had lost the control over my own body. The feeling had shocked me. I had not felt that way since I was a little boy. When my father abused my mother._ I scowled into the nothingness. I had hated that man, my father, Tobias Snape. Various memories from my childhood popped up in my mind. Only bad ones. I didn't feel like thinking about those and continued the story in my head.

_A second later, I touched ground again. My butt first. The ground felt hard and sounded like metal. I was completely disoriented. The hands around my legs had let go and two pair of hands had pulled me up by my arms. The hands had pushed me backwards. My feet had bumped against something that had felt like metal. I stumbled and fell with my butt on what had felt like something like a metal bench. My back had bumped against a metal wall. The sound of my back hitting the wall had sounded hollow. I had had no idea where I was. I couldn't remember such a building near my house_. I imagined it to be a Muggle vehicle, cause I had felt the thing move. I couldn't remember the name of such a thing, but they looked silly.

_I had heard two men seating themselves next to me and one opposite to me. Then, the sounds of metal doors, closing. It startled me. I could not have used my magic- too many muggles around-, I was defenceless, and even though I had wanted the feeling to leave, I had not been able to force it to leave._

_I had been locked up in a metal box. On that moment I had had no idea what to do, except cooperating. Out of the sudden, the vehicle started moving. Even though I had expected it to be a vehicle, I had not expected it to start moving. I didn't know why, probably because everything had been so overwhelming._

_The vehicle had started to move and I had felt uncomfortable in my position, handcuffed, locked in a metal box, in the presence of three, maybe more, strong Muggles, without being been able to use magic. Who wouldn't be uncomfortable?_

_'Don't try anything' the man on my right whispered close to my ear. The sack over my head blocked me from looking at the man. I had not thought about escaping or something, but apparently people who had been in my position before had done it. I could imagine why. It had been a rather unpleasant experience, being in there with these kind of circumstances. And that was softly expressed. I had felt anger, so much anger inside of me. However, I had not been able to make that feeling disappear at that moment, but I had suppressed it pretty good. Meanly because of how life has formed me, but also because of what a surprise it had been._

_We had not driven very long_. I couldn't estimate how long.

_The vehicle had stopped and I had heard the doors open. The men besides me had pulled me from my seat and towards the doors. 'Mind the step' one of the man had said. Hands from below me grabbed my arms and pulled me down. I stepped down and stumbled a bit. The ground had felt harder again. I knew I had been outside again at that point._

_The hands had pushed me forward and leaded me towards a new place. The sounds of footsteps sounded softer now, so I had imagined I had been inside a building._

_I had been stopped and a man's voice had asked: "do you have anything in your pockets or on your body besides your clothes?"_

_I had remembered my wand and had known they were going to find it. With the sack still over my head, I had nodded._

_"What do you have?" the man had asked firmly._

_I had doubted for a second and had slowly answered: "a stick."_

_"Only that?"_

_I had nodded again._

_"Where is the stick?"_

_"In a pocket of my trousers."_

_A pair of hands had started going over my body. First to my trousers. I had felt the hands pull my wand out of my pocket. Then, over the rest of my body. The hands had found nothing more, cause there hadn't been anything more._

_One pair of hands had pushed me further. A higher pitched voice behind the hands had said: "stay here.", definitely a woman. She had spoken with a firm voice and I had somehow doubted if she was a woman._

_I had done like she had said and simply stood there. Still, everything was dark. Still, my hands cuffed._

_I had heard a door being closed and locked. Then, steps coming closer to me. I had bowed my head to listen more carefully. The hands had grasped the sack and pulled it off. The light had hurt my eyes and I winced a bit. I had tried not to show the muggle that. However, she had seen it._

_"Don't worry, that will go away," she had said politely. "I want you to do exactly what I say when I say so, you understand?" she had demanded strictly. I had nodded. Her request had made the anger in my body burn again. How had she dared to speak to me like that!? If she had known of my knowledge of magic she would have spoken differently However, I had not shown the Muggle my feelings._

_"I want no games. Otherwise, you will get a lot of trouble, you understand?" I had nodded again._

_My sight had returned slowly and I had started to see my own black shoes. "I am going to pull those out," the woman had said. I had looked up and had seen a tall, muscular man next to the door. The woman had come from behind and had looked at me with an expecting frown. I had nodded and she had crouched to untie my shoes. I had lifted foot by foot so she could take them off. The stone floor had felt cold to my socks._

_"Do you wear a belt?" the woman had asked politely. She had been clearly surprised by my cooperation. That had not been a pleasure from my side. I had shaken my head. Had they been afraid I was going to hang myself? Probably. Why else would they have wanted my belt? The woman had nodded, but had lifted my shirt anyway to check. She nodded again as she had seen I had had indeed no belt around my waist._

_The man in the room had walked to a door behind me and had opened it. The woman grabbed my arm and led my through the door, into a corridor with heavy metal doors. Prison cells, of course. Bloody muggles! I had thought. But there had been nothing I could have done about the situation. I had known that one had been destined for me. I had sighed in frustration and had wondered which one it would be._

The woman had pushed me towards one of the doors on the end of the corridor.

_"I am going to unlock those handcuffs and I want you to behave, otherwise you will get them back on, understand?" the woman had asked strictly. I had nodded in response, but I had actually wanted to yell every curse word I knew at her. I hated to be treated like a child. But behaving is important. A thing my father had learned me the hard way._

_The man had opened the heavy metal door. It had squeaked and I had winced at the thought of being in there for quite a long time, cause who knew for how long I still had to be in there._

_The door had revealed the small prison cell. I had sighed and the woman had removed my handcuffs. I had gotten my hands in front of me again and the man had pushed me slightly into the prison cell. I had turned around and had seen how they had locked the door without showing any emotion. No magical abilities, no emotions, what DO muggles have? I had thought irritated._

_I had rubbed my wrists, because they had been cuffed really tightly, and I had looked around the room._

_And now, I am here. For quite some time now, I think._

I had gone over the whole situation in my head. However, I still couldn't find what I had done wrong. What was it?

I knew it had to do something with the girl. I frowned again. I really had to stop doing that. She must have felt too that I didn't really wanted her around. Or at all. However, I had to deal with it now.

What had the girl done to attract so much attention from the Muggle police? I had watched her nearly all the time and I had seen nothing really standing out that could attract muggle police. What could she have possibly done?

It must have had to do something with before I had met her, I felt it. But what?

I went over her story again.

_First the death of her parents. Then, her mother's letter…_

I remembered. The police had known about the death of her parents. They had bloody told her that! The police had already been involved since the beginning of everything! _How could I have been so foolish to not have noticed that!?_

More and more pieces started to complete the puzzle in my head.

_That man on the platform. He had yelled something about a missing child. I had known back then they had indicated her. Of course I had. And the police who chased her had too._

Everything fell on its place.

_How could I have been so foolish to not think about this? The muggle police had been searching for the girl and they had found out that she stayed in my house. But why storming in and not just knocking on the door?_

I sighed. _Stupid question, Severus_, I thought a second later. _You are an adult, who lives on his own and rarely has guests. And out of the sudden there is a little girl in your house. You know you would have been suspicious too if you had seen that happen to someone else_. I nodded and agreed with my own thoughts.

I had been so stupid for not noticing all of this.

And Ellea? Has she also forgotten about all of this? I can't imagine that being the case. The man on the platform had loudly yelled something about a missing orphan and she had only run faster after that. I shook my head. _She knows. Oh, she knows. But why didn't she tell me?_

I thought hard, but couldn't come up with an logical explanation.

_Has she really forgotten about this? How could someone forget something like that!_

I was so agitated. I was angry about myself, Ellea and everything at the moment.

I yawned and looked at the light bulb on the ceiling again. It was just as yellow as before. I sighed. Nothing really changed in here, only my mood.

My stomach crunched. I was hungry. My feeling told me that I had been here for at least ten hours and I had not gotten any food. Did those muggles made a mistake by not giving me food or did they just didn't want to give me food? Or was I only thinking it was already that long? I had no clue, but trusted my feelings.

I yawned again. I was tired. The day had taken its price and now my body needed sleep.

I looked at the concrete block on which I was sitting. I think the Muggles had meant it as a bed. However, no pillow, no blanket, not even something soft to sleep on. I imagined my sleep to be very unpleasant, but I needed the sleep and decided to do it anyway.

I took a 'comfortable', lying, position on the block, even though there wasn't any. I looked at my cold feet and saw my socks. I rolled my eyes. They even had my shoes.

_Stupid muggles. Luckily for them I am not allowed to do magic on Muggles, because otherwise..._

I laid my head on my arm and closed my eyes. I was asleep before I could have even realized it.

**Author's Note:**

**I hope you have enjoyed this chapter. It introduces Snape's little story next to Ellea's.**

**So, no chapter(s) next week. The next chapter from Ellea's point of view will be posted in two weeks.**

**See you later!**


	3. Future

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**This chapter from Snape's perspective is based on chapter 29 in _The Magical Daughter_ story from Ellea's point of view (which you can find underneath my profile as well).**

**Enjoy!**

I woke up by the squeaky sound of the opening of the metal door of my prison cell. I slowly opened my eyes and immediately felt my back. Pain, as if someone had kicked me from behind.

I used one hand to get myself sitting on the concrete block, on which I had been sleeping. I held the other hand on my back to try to reduce the pain. It didn't quite help. Instead, each rub made me feel older and older and older. It made me think about my father, but as soon as I saw him in my mind, I shook my head to remove his ugly face.

I imagined the pain coming from sleeping on the concrete block. It hadn't been a feast to sleep on it to say the least.

I had watched the door while I was getting myself seated. A woman, small, but clearly fiercely if she had to be, stood in the doorway. I recognised her from before. She had been the one who had wanted my shoes and belt. A Muggle not to mess with, when wandless of course.

"Hello," the muggle woman greeted me politely. I was still frustrated about being imprisoned and curtly responded with a nod. Not that a Muggle like her deserved more.

"If you could come with me," the woman demanded.

I stood up and walked towards the woman. My back, still hurting, but I did my best to not show her that. I imagined them to have forgotten a blanket and pillow on purpose, so that it was their intention to hurt my back. I had decided not to give them any pleasure in seeing me having pain. And to be honest, it wasn't that bad either. I could live with it.

The woman held onto my arm and leaded me to a door inside the same corridor. However, this door wasn't like the one of the prison cells. This one was prettier, but still made of steel. Improvement for me? A better place to sleep? Or was it something else? Muggles are unpredictable, so to never have any expectations or thoughts is the best to do around them.

The woman opened the door and leaded me in.

The room was grey. The walls were painted even greyer than the floor. The floor was a lighter form of grey. I saw a steel table and a steel chair. Two persons on the same steel chairs. And to not forget, an enormous mirror to the back of the two persons.

The woman slightly pushed me towards the chair and I seated myself opposite to the two persons. A man and a woman. But those Muggles… I couldn't say what it was, because the suspicion troubled my mind, but it wasn't something good for sure.

"Well, hello," the man began. I already hated his way of speaking, way too arrogant for me. I had no intention to react to the arrogant man, so I slightly nodded. Not that a Muggle man like him deserves better.

"My name is officer Brown," the man introduced himself. "And this is my colleague officer Smith." The man gestured with his hand towards the woman.

She nodded and looked at me with a friendly smile. I got the intention that she was faking it to make a good impression on me. However, she achieved the exact opposite. I gave her a quick glance, then returned my look towards the man.

"We are here to ask you some questions, Mr. Snape. If you give us honest and correct answers, everything will turn out better than if you don't, believe me," the man explained. I kept looking at him with a blank expression. I had nothing to tell. At least not at the moment. Could I tell them about all the magic involved in this? Of course not.

"Well, do you want something to drink before we begin?"

I looked up at the woman.

"Coffee? Tea perhaps?" she asked.

My stomach grunted silently. I had been hungry quite some time now and a cup of coffee would do a great job. Even though I liked tea more, coffee would do a better job at giving me some needed energy.

"Coffee, please." The first thing I had said to them. Not that there was more to say. Maybe asking the questions I had about why the bloody hell even being here! But looking where this was going to was a more reasonable thing to do.

The woman left the room to go and get the coffee.

I looked at the table and waited in silence.

"Shall we begin with coming straight to the point instead of doing small talk?" Brown asked.

I looked up at him. Then, back to the table. Brown looked sideways to the wall, then back to me.

"Well, how do you know Ellea?" he asked politely.

I kept staring at the table and thought it was the best to not answer that question. The officer sighed in frustration. I looked up and scowled at the man. Did he think he was the only one who was frustrated!? Did he think I liked it to be here!?

"Did I hit a painful snare?" he asked with a dirty voice.

I returned my eyes to the table and waited for this one-sided conversation to be over.

The man sighed again. "If you just talk to us, everything will go easier. And maybe this will have a better outcome for you."

I didn't look up at the man and kept staring to the table.

"And if you are innocent you could better say that, then we can check your story and you can be set free."

Now, I quickly looked up at the man. "Innocent from what?" I asked the man. I wanted to know where they had actually accused me from and why I was the bloody hell here! I wanted to know everything they knew, if they even knew something.

"You tell me," Brown replied and leaned back in his chair. I rolled my eyes and frowned at the man in response.

"Don't I have the right to know it?" I asked the officer arrogantly. I wanted to show him that I wasn't someone they could mess with. However, I had no idea if I actually had the right to know it. I had never showed interest in the muggle law system and I kind of regretted that now.

Brown nodded. "You have." He paused and kept on nodding. "You have," he repeated slowly.

"You are arrested for suspicion of abduction," the officer stated casually.

I glared up at the man with a face of bewilderment. "The abduction of a minor!?" I exclaimed. I was so angry. What did those Muggles think of me!? I would never abduct a child!

I took a deep breath to let go of all the anger and stated calmly: "I am innocent."

The man narrowed his eyes as if he didn't believe me.

"Could you tell me what has happened then?" the muggle asked.

I stared at the table and thought about what was the right thing to say. I couldn't tell them about the magic. Never. I had to leave that out, but how could I make the story make sense then?

On that moment, the woman came back in.

"Here you go," she said as she placed a paper cup in front of me on the table. I nodded at her, as to say 'thank you' and then stared back at the table.

"We have to tell you that you have the right to get a lawyer if you would want one," the female officer stated as if she hated to say that sentence.

I looked up at her and said: "yes, I would like that. I appeal to my right to remain silent until that person is here."

The officers looked at each other.

"Could you maybe answer the question I have just asked you, so we can go and work on that? I mean, if you are really innocent like you say, then we can go and try to prove it," the male officer requested.

I narrowed my eyes. They were testing me. I was sure of it.

"I appeal to my right to remain silent until the lawyer is here," I stated firmly. My tone made them frown.

"Well, okay then," the woman responded and stood up from her chair. The man followed her example and stood up. Smith knocked twice on the door. A second later, the female officer from before opened the door and walked in.

"Could you bring Mr. Snape to his prison cell?" Smith asked her colleague. The woman nodded and approached me. I stood up, which was followed by her taking my upper arm and leading me towards the door.

"We will see each other soon, Mr. Snape," the male officer said, as I walked through the door, back into the corridor.

The woman walked behind me, still holding onto my arm and pushing me towards my prison cell. She opened the door and I walked in, reluctantly . Protesting was useless. However, it would not be difficult to conquer the woman. She was smaller than me and seemed slightly less strong. But if I succeeded in doing that, how was I ever going to get out of this building? Rooms were surely locked and/or guarded. I could never get away without the use of magic and that was just the thing I didn't have at the moment.

I turned around to look at the woman. She had already closed the door enough for me to not be been able to see her. She closed the door and locked it. She had locked me up, again. A bloody Muggle. But, anything was better than being tortured by the Dark Lord or being locked up by the Ministry, because their would certainly not be an escape possible. And I hadn't even mentioned Azkaban. No, it could have been worse. It could always be worse. My life had proven that.

I seated myself on the concrete block, again, and stared at the light bulb, again. I sighed in frustration. I wasn't the type to hang around and do nothing. And there was nothing to do in here. At home... well, in my house- I felt more at home at Hogwarts- I had my books. At Hogwarts, I had the lessons and chores. Cleaning cauldrons when stupid students thought they would be funny, or they were just way too dumb, if they blew up their potions. And then giving them detention and other punishments. Replenishing ingredients was another form of punishment of course. And way more useful for me.

At that moment, I remembered I still had to go and get some Gillyweed for when I returned to Hogwarts. I frowned at the thought. I wasn't the one to go and get it. I had some time off since Ellea's letter had arrived at Hogwarts. I had been replaced be professor Slughorn- who had not been happy about it, since he was long retired- until the time was ready to return to my post. It was his job to get it Gillyweed.

I looked around the small room I was in. The time to return was clearly not there yet.

Ellea. I wondered where she would be right now. I was the bloody Potions Master at Hogwarts, a boarding school for God's sake, and I had not been able to protect even one single child from a bunch of Muggles out of all sorts! I sighed in frustration and leaned back against the wall. I knew I had made the best decisions by not using magic to protect myself... us. But it still felt wretchedly.

_Where would she be right now?_ I asked myself. I knew I had already thought about that, but I had nothing better to do in here.

_Would she also be with the police? Probably. Here? In this building? Probably not._ I looked at my feet and wobbled with my toes. They were cold, even though I still had my socks.

_Would they also speak to her? Yes, certainly, of course they would._ Ellea was the one who would have the exact same answers as he had, when their story would be the same. And she was a child. They would easily get all the answers from her.

I pressed me head against the wall behind me, closed my eyes tightly and sighed in dispiritedness.

_How hard can it be to get all the answers from a child?_ Ellea was young, so surely easily influenceable like every child, she had no idea about the importance of keeping everything about magic secret from the Muggle World and she had probably no idea about the seriousness of the situation.

I laid my head in my hands knew I was doomed. And not only me, the girl too and probably the whole Wizarding World too for being exposed to Muggles. We were all doomed.

_If the Muggles don't punish me for something I haven't done than the aurors will. How depressing._ I thought I had chosen the best option by not using my magic to get away, to cooperate with the Muggles to cause less trouble. But instead, I had caused us even more problems. Now, I was here, having problems with the Muggles and probably with the whole Wizarding World too. If I had just casted some spells, then Ellea and I would have been on another place, safe from those Muggles. However, then I surely would have had problems with The Ministry. Then I would have been sent to Azkaban, probably. Probably.

I frowned at the thought of being sent to Azkaban. No, I had made the right decision to not use magic.

And then there still was the 'probably'.

_Will Ellea answer all their questions? Or will she realize that it is the best to keep her mouth shut?_ I wondered. I came to the conclusion that she would presumably tell them everything. The girl was still a young child and although I had told her that showing magic to Muggles was highly forbidden, would she remember that? Probably not.

I realised that after the incorrect Muggle sentence- since I had not abducted the girl- I would be sent to Azkaban prison for letting this all happen. Ellea had been my responsibility and I had let her tell many Muggles about magic. I would probably not see my house or Hogwarts for many years- if I would ever see it again-. And then I realised: _and Ellea probably too._

I didn't really feel something when I thought about not seeing Ellea or my home. I actually didn't really feel something for the girl. Yes, she was mine, so yes, I am her father. However, I just saw her as a responsibility, something I had to take care of, instead of someone I truly cared about, like Lilly.

God I missed Lilly so much. Every day. There never passed a day, I didn't think about her. I had always thought about her. Always.

I remembered one time I had another love, Lynn, Ellea's mother. I had finally gotten myself to a point on which I kind of wanted to stop thinking about Lilly day and night. However, deep down I had always known I could have never succeeded. But I had tried. Living with a broken heart, for ever, was even worse than being tortured by the Dark Lord, worse than being locked up in the dungeons of the Ministry and even worse than Azkaban.

Lynn had made me feel happy again. Had made me feel a bit love again. But love makes blind. She had appeared to be a squib. I knew I could have been happy with her for not having the magical ability. But what would the Dark Lord have said? No doubt he would have been angry. He could have killed me, a likely outcome. I had at least lost my status as a spy for The Order by being kicked out of the Death Eaters. And the fight against the Dark Lord was more important than my feelings.

It had actually not only been that. She had withheld a very important thing from me. She had trapped me into loving her and then, when she had me and she knew I would have had difficulties in leaving her, she told me. Lynn had been slyly. Very slyly. Slytherin slyly. I knew I was sly too, but being played like that…

And on that point, I knew I would always be devoted towards Lilly. She was my everything and she would always be my everything. Always.

I knew Ellea wanted to know this- how I had met her mother and so on-. I knew she wanted- however, I didn't know what the content of Lynn's letter towards Ellea was, but I couldn't imagine her writing that all down for a child-. But I couldn't tell her. I had never talked about it and it would stay that way. I had it all pushed away deep inside me and it would stay that way.

She probably wanted to know why I had never come to visit her. Why had she never asked? Had she felt encumbered to do so? I actually didn't care. She would have never gotten an honest answer anyway. I would have told her about her mom's letters and how I had kept sending them back. And some of my thoughts- the ones about me thinking the letters were fake in the beginning. That I thought she was tricking me again and so on.- and how I acted to those thoughts.

However, I would have never told her about some other thoughts about the letter- the ones about me thinking I had never wanted her. The care for her, her existence, her complete being, I had never wanted it and I still didn't want it.-. I had yelled those at her in the basement when I had tested our family relationship, but that had not been right. It had made her very upset, and of course… Maybe I would tell her the truth when she became older. Maybe…

The situation around Ellea was hard and not only because of where I was now, but also because I had no idea what to do. I had thought about it for long. Already since Dumbledore had told me about the letter he had received. Normally, I would come up with a plan or idea pretty quickly, or at least quicker than this. Me not having any idea, had stressed me out. And now, this.

I looked at the light bulb on the ceiling. Its yellowish light made me think about fire. I looked at my cold toes again and smiled out of discomfort.

"I could pretty use a fire right now," I stated out loud. However, there was no one to hear me say it.

I placed my elbows on my knees and dropped my hands so my arm could lay horizontal. By doing so, the movement pulled up me sleeves a bit. It revealed my wrist, which immediately started to get cold. I looked at it. The pulled up sleeve on my left arm revealed a part of my Dark Mark.

I rolled up my left sleeve to take a better look at it.

The black colour, the snake, the skull, just like how the Dark Lord had designed it. It gave the exact feeling it was supposed to give people, an ominous one. I had taken it in pure conviction back then, but now... If I ever got the chance to go back in time…

I had joined The Order later on, shortly before Lilly's death, to protect her- and also her jerk of her husband, because if I wanted to protect Lilly I had to protect him as well. They had been a two in one package. Well, actually three. They had a son too, Harry.-.

I regretted ever choosing for the Dark Lord. He had killed her. My only friend. My only love. My everything.

Choosing the Order had also resulted in me turning into a spy for Dumbledore. Day in day out, I was busy with protecting my cover. That meant protecting my mind from the Dark Lord- luckily, I was very well at occlumency.- and protecting myself from a horrible death.

I sighed in desperation. Where had I gotten myself into?

I had my eyes fixated on my Dark Mark, that terrible symbol stood for everything that was wrong.

At that moment, I realised that it was not only me who I had put in danger with my decisions. But Ellea was also now. She was under my care. I was her father. If the Dark Lord would ever find out I was a spy, he would definitely give her a gruesome death as well. Why also her? Because she was my daughter. Look at what he had done to Lilly! His target had only been the boy, the boy had to die according to the Dark Lord's plan. And because Lilly and that jerk of a Potter had thrown themselves in front of him to protect their son, he had killed them both. Ellea would certainly die if he would ever find out about my status. Another reason why I had to stay becareful.

I frowned. Was I starting to like the girl? Was that the reason why I was so concerned?

_No. No, I'm not!_ I told myself firmly. _She is under my care and that's why I don't want her to die. And if a death was ever preventable, I would do that- well not very death. I would have never lifted my wand for Potter, but he had already been dead for a long time-._

The Dark Lord had to know that I had never liked killing something. Even an animal like a rat was always hard. I hated to do it, but I did it if it was necessary. And even though I always hid my feelings when I killed something, I knew the Dark Lord knew about it. The Dark Lord was clever, smart and certainly not someone to try to fool. He knew nearly everything that happened around him. I guessed that my status as a spy was probably the biggest secret from him, ever. And I hoped he would never find out.

_Would he already know I am in here? I know he has a lot of informants, but that would be really quickly, so I don't think so. However, it wouldn't take him long…_

I stared at the light bulb on the ceiling.

_Would he already know Ellea is my daughter?_ I asked myself. I frowned at the thought. Not because of the potential danger, but because she was mine. I still loathed the thought.

I couldn't imagine the Dark Lord knew. How could he? The officers still had to find that one out, so how could he know? Only Dumbledore knew.

However, he would find out in the future. That future was inevitable.

And what would happen if he found out? What happened to children who were born into a Death Eater family? It was expected of them to become Death Eaters as well, just like their parents.

The girl had already been condemned to a life of wrong doing and believing in evil beliefs. Beliefs she would get later on... from me.

I had no choice but to teach her about the Dark Lord's beliefs, beliefs I had renounced a long time ago.

She would be accepted into the Dark Lord's circle, just like Lucius' son, Draco. I had to teach her the Dark Lord's beliefs as if they were truly my own. I had to. If I refused, the Dark Lord would discover I wasn't a loyal follower anymore. Because why would one of his most loyal followers not teach his child about his beliefs? Maybe he would even discover I was a spy. No. It was the best to teach her and raise her with his idea. Although it would be hard, I had to do it. I had to lie to her and I would do it. It would spare her and myself a horrible death. But how many would it spare if I let us both be killed? She would never become a Death Eater, she would never learn how to kill, she would never do it. And if she had my genes for magic, she would become powerful and become been able to kill many.

I sighed in frustration and stared at the ceiling.

_This is just wrong. Raising a child with these kind of beliefs. And not just a child. Mine._ I still hated it to think about her as mine.

_I have to talk with Dumbledore about this. Maybe he has a solution for it. I can't let us both be killed, but I can't raise someone as a serial killer either!_ The thought made me nearly cry out of desperation.

_By Merlin's beard! Maybe you don't even have to raise the kid, Severus. Look around you. You are imprisoned by a bunch of Muggles. Muggles! Big chance magic gets exposed to Muggles now and that means you will end up in Azkaban for quite some time._

I dropped my head in my hands in frustration.

_How old will I be when I get out of Azkaban? Or, maybe a better question at the moment, how old I be when I get out of here?_

I gazed at the metal door. It didn't move, just like me, cause I had no idea to where.

_Life will take a turn for the worse from now on, which direction it will take, it will. So I could better prepare for it._

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**I hope you have enjoyed this chapter. A pretty sad one, wasn't it?**

**So, no chapter(s) next week. The next chapter from Ellea's point of view will be posted the week after next week.**

**See you later!**


	4. Felix Felicis

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**This chapter from Snape's perspective is based on chapter 30 in ****_The Magical Daughter_**** story from Ellea's point of view (which you can find on my profile as well).**

**Enjoy!**

A squeaky sound filled me ears and hit my eardrums. I startled and awoke. My eyes quickly scanned the room and I realised I was still in the small concrete bock which I had spent way too much time in already.

"It has not been a dream," I accidently sighed out loud.

"If you knew how much I hear that during my work," a woman in the doorway said with a giggle in her voice. I knew the woman by her face now and knew that her arrivals only meant moving to another room for a short time.

_No wonder, you foolish Muggle_, I thought while giving her only a quick glance.

"If you would come with me," she said.

I pushed myself up from the concrete block I had been sleeping on and walked over to the woman. I wondered what time it was. I had lost my track of time, a thing which irritated me tremendously.

I passed the woman and walked down the corridor. The woman placed her hand on my shoulder and walked next to me. I detested her touch and looked at her hand, in disgust. I actually hated every touch of anyone. Only Lilly and my mother had been allowed to touch me without evoking feelings of hatred.

_If I have the chance of drinking Felix Felicis right now, could I indeed wake up any minute?_ I wondered. _Because that would be really lucky._

"It's the same room as before," the Muggle said.

I stopped in front of it and she opened the door. The door revealed the same interrogation room and people as before, a man and a woman, the same as before. I wondered how long ago 'before' actually was.

"Take a seat," the woman in the room said and gestured with her hand to the chair opposite to them.

I narrowed my eyes in disagreement, but did it anyway. The woman closed the door and yet again I said there with the two Muggles.

"We would like to talk to you again, Mr. Snape." Smith said. Her eyes were impending.

I nodded in response. What would they already know? I had to know.

"Well, let's begin with you telling us how you know Ellea."

"I have already told you that I only want to talk after I have spoken to my lawyer."

"Do you really need to discuss everything with your lawyer?"

"Yes."

"If you could only tell us how you know Ellea then we can go on with our work and prove that you are as innocent as you say you are."

I remained silent. Was there anything to say from my side otherwise?

"We really want to believe you, Mr. Snape, but if you stay silent, we get the intention you are not."

"When is my lawyer here?"

Brown sighed. "We have called one. He can be here any minute."

"Well, I think you can wait here for your lawyer, right?" he asked while the two of them stood up.

I looked up at the man and did not respond.

The two left the room and left me alone. I heard them lock the door. It frustrated me. A locked door had never stopped me. I knew plenty of spells to unlock doors and otherwise I just blasted them open. But now, I knew how Muggles felt. So powerless.

Ten minutes later, I heard the lock again and the door opened. A bald, old man was let in by the woman who had escorted me too. The only difference, she did not held onto his shoulder.

The man stepped into the room and slightly nodded at me. The door closed as he seated himself opposite to me.

The door was locked again and I looked at the man. He was nearly bald, only the sides of his had still had some gray, flaxy hair and his gray suit made him look way older than he truly was.

"Good morning," the man greeted me as he had seated himself.

I nodded in response and expected him to be my lawyer. He had a briefcase and looked differently than the other Muggles around here.

"I am Frank Tremblay, your lawyer."

I didn't respond and just kept looking at the man. He had waited for me to introduce myself, but since I didn't he went on. I knew he already knew me. A lawyer who has no idea of the case he has been put on? No way.

"I have already had a quick look at your case and I think it would be good to discuss those with you." The man looked with an expecting look. However, I had nothing to say and waited for him to tell me about his thoughts.

The man looked uncomfortable by my silence. However, he went on with what he had to tell.

"For now, I have no idea what I can do for you. That's because I don't know what the story is. I only know the facts and without elucidation from you, they don't look in your favour," he explained.

I nodded. I could imagine, but I couldn't tell the man. I had to come up with another idea or credible story to tell everyone.

"You have to give me some explanation about the facts, otherwise I don't know what I can do for you. You don't have to worry I will tell it to the police. My job is to help you, not them," he explained with a dirty smile.

I doubted if I could trust the man fully. If I could come up with an plausible story with him, was till a question. I decided not to. I had to do it myself. However, maybe he knew things about the investigation. I could get the information through him instead of from the officers. That was a good idea.

"What do you know?" I asked the man. Tremblay picked up his briefcase from the ground, placed it on the table and opened it. He got a small pile of papers out of it. The sight made me curious and disgusted at the same time. People had made notes about me. Muggles out of all sort!

The man licked his fingers and turned over some pages.

"Well, a woman in your neighbourhood has seen you walking with the girl," Tremblay stated as if this conversation was one of the most normal conversations ever. "Ehm..." He flipped over some more pages. "Ah, yes. And then we have another person seeing her walking in your backyard."

I sighed in frustration. "So that's why they think I have abducted a child!? Because some bloody Muggles have seen her with me!?" I exclaimed fiercely.

The man looked rather confused than surprised by my sudden anger. He asked: "what's a Muggle?"

I startled. I had called a Muggle a Muggle in his presence and that was not allowed by the Ministry of Magic. However, I was in enough trouble already. So I thought this one wouldn't mind at all. A life in Azkaban was already a logical thing at this moment, so why minding?

"A swearword from my youth."

The man didn't seem to buy it.

"I'm sorry," I added to make it more credible.

The man seemed more pleased now and said: "I understand your anger, but you have to stay calm. We won't accomplish a good outcome if we stay stressed out."

The man was right. We would not accomplish things with stress. He won more and more of my trust.

"And to answer your question, yes. It seems that way. And I can't blame them. I mean, doesn't it look strange to you? That girl is missing. People find her and then she goes missing again. Then, people notice her on your property and in your proximity."

I nodded. The man was right. It looked very bad without context.

"And on top of that, people have seen you on the railway station the day she disappeared again. And guess where you have been spotted. Running after her with another man on a platform."

I frowned. They knew quite a lot already. I had to watch my steps very, very carefully right now.

"It doesn't look that good for you, Mr. Snape. You have to tell me things. Give me some context."

I looked up at the man and doubted what to say. He was apparently sent to help me and I needed his help with this, since I had no idea about the Muggle legal system.

_A credible story, a credible sorry! Come on Severus, you have to come up with something!_ I kept telling my mind.

"Well, it appeared to be that Ellea... is my daughter," I stated with harassment. Accepting the fact proved to be still hard.

The man looked surprised and leaned back in his chair.

"How come?" Tremblay asked.

I scowled at the man and asked myself how stupid a Muggle could possibly be. _By sex of course you bloody moron!_ I cursed in my mind at the man. I knew I couldn't say that out loud. I needed the man's help, and I hated to be in that position.

"Her mother and I had a short relationship a long time ago. We had sex... and apparently..." I couldn't finish the sentence. I had no idea how.

"I get it," the man stated. I scowled again and now I really started to detest the man. How could he possibly get it? How could he understand the situation?

"Maybe you can tell me the story from the beginning?"

I nodded and tried to come up with a good story.

"Well... a long time ago, I had relationship with her mother, but that didn't end well. We had sex, once, and that's when Ellea... Her mother moved away after the break-up and I went on with my life."

The man nodded. And took some notes of it, which created some suspicion on my side.

"After the break-up, she began sending me letters. I thought she wanted me back. However, I had no desire in having her back. I sent the letters back, unopened. Later on, thanks to Ellea, I learned that those letters contained information about Lynn being pregnant."

"Lynn?" Tremblay interrupted my story.

"Her mother," I clarified.

He nodded, noted it down.

"I had no idea she was pregnant, because otherwise..."

"You would have acted differently?" he tried to finish my sentence after me turning silent.

I nodded. However, I had no idea if I would have, because yes, the girl was mine, but I had actually never had the desire for a child, boy or girl, magical or squib. Nothing. No one. Never.

"I have heard from Ellea that she has gotten married to someone after our relationship. She has raised Ellea with that man and made her believe he was her father."

"And then… she died." I wasn't in love with her, not anymore, but saying that. I felt bad. That the love had been over had never meant that I had not missed her presence. Her sweet words and lovely smile. Even though I would always be devoted to Lily, I missed her. I missed her as a person I had liked, with passion, for a while.

"After the death of her parents, Ellea came in the possession of a letter from her mom in which she explains that I am her father and not the other man." I hoped the man would not asked more about the letter, because I knew her mother had written all about magic and I had no idea how to save myself out of that one for now.

"And then?" Tremblay asked.

"Well, Ellea had found out where I lived and sent me a letter, telling me about everything. She had written that she would take a train and arrive at Cokeworth to come over and see me."

"Were you not shocked by the news of her telling you you are her father?"

"I was and in the beginning I doubted if she was actually mine. I decided to pick her up at the railway station and find out the truth, the two of us, but when I saw her and saw our resemblance..." I stopped again and remembered the feeling of seeing the resemblance between the two of us. Her black hair, her slender figure, her pale skin...

"You knew she was yours?" Tremblay tried to get a better answer.

I nodded in response.

"And you didn't do a DNA-test? Just to be sure?"

I shook my head. "Not yet. I wanted to do that in the future. I haven't had the time for that yet, because look around you."

The man didn't look around the room, instead he slightly nodded and understood the situation.

"And you didn't know she was missing?"

"No, I don't read the newspapers that regularly."

"Do you know how her parents have died?"

"In a car accident," I replied calmly.

"And you didn't think the police was involved?"

"I was too overwhelmed by the fact I had a daughter so suddenly. I didn't think clearly. I should have done that more. Then I would have not been here."

The lawyer tilted his head. "No, I don't think so either."

"But one thing I don't understand is why the mother has never searched for you in person and just kept sending you letters. Did she never come to your door to tell you about her pregnancy?"

I shook my head. "Not that I know. Maybe I wasn't at home."

The man slightly smiled. "I have to admit that this is a strange story, Mr. Snape."

I nodded. "I understand, because it is. I can hardly believe it myself."

The man nodded and thought for a moment. If he believed my made-up story was still uncertain.

"We need to prove your story. And in order to do that, we need evidence."

_Wow, smartass, saying the obvious_, I snarled at him in my mind. However, instead I said: "what do you propose?"

"Well, I was thinking about the letter first of all and a new DNA test to top it off."

I didn't respond to that. A DNA test would not be that big of an issue, but the letter... I knew Ellea had the letter, so it was somewhere in my house, but I couldn't show the Muggles that. Too much information about magic.

"I can give you my DNA, I am afraid I can't do the same with the letter."

Tremblay frowned a bit. "And why not?"

"Because I don't know where it is."

The man sighed. "If your story is the truth, then we can ask the girl to get it for us, right?"

The girl, the girl. He had said that with such a bad tone and not just 'Ellea'. He didn't believe me. Nothing about my story, I knew that now. However, it was his job to help me prove me right. I would prove it to him and all the other Muggles at the same time and then I would be free to go.

_The letter. He wants the letter_, I kept repeating in my mind. I hoped I would find a solution to this, but there wasn't one. The letter contained too much information about magic. I would not only bring me more problems with the Muggles, but also with the Ministry of Magic. However, how would I prevent them from finding it? Ellea knew where it was and she would certainly tell them, because why not? They are the police, the friends of everybody who is nice. However, she was at this moment my only hope. I hated to be in that position.

_The ingredients of Felix Felicis are: Ashwinder egg, horseradish, a squill bulb, anemone-like growth on the back of a Murtlap, thyme, Occamy eggshell and powdered common rue. Other necessities: a cauldron, a spoon, a fire and… my wand…_

My attention had drifted off to ways how I could ever escape this situation and the Felix Felicis potion had popped up in my head again.

"Mr. Snape?" I heard the man ask.

I looked up, a bit off world "You could ask her," I said unwillingly, still remembering what the man had said.

He nodded. "I will ask her as soon as possible. And I will try to get the right documents for a DNA-test."

I nodded understandingly.

_Would I truly wake up if I took the potion? Maybe. Who knows. It's not just called 'Liquid Luck' for nothing._

"Mr. Snape?" I heard the man ask again, so I looked up again.

"I have just asked what you think about all of this."

"It's… overwhelming."

"I can imagine."

_I don't think it would work that way in this situation. Where could I even get the ingredients and other thing to try?_

"Hello!? Are you even listening at what I'm saying!?"

"Excuse me," I apologized for letting my mind slip away so easily.

"Well, I think it's my time to leave," Tremblay said and stood up. "You seem very tired, since your attention is going elsewhere, which I can imagine in here, but you have to remember that you have to fight to prove your innocence. And your enemy never sleeps."

The man extended his hand to me and hoped I would shake it. I looked at his hand for a moment, because shaking a Muggle's hand wasn't a regular thing I did. I did it none the less, to show the man my goodwill.

"I wish you the best of luck, Mr. Snape. And I will do my best for you."

I gave him a fake smile and hoped he would just leave, even though I needed him so badly.

"You can tell this story to the officers as well. Nothing about this story can get you into a lot of trouble."

"A lot of trouble?"

"Maybe a bit for not bringing the girl to a police station after they reported her missing, but I think I can handle that. This is an exceptional case, Mr. Snape."

I nodded. "I guess so," I said.

"I will see you again when we know more."

"And when is that? For how long do I still have to stay here?"

"I don't know. Depends on what they find."

"Find? Are they going to search my house?"

"Well, they have actually already done that today. I get a report tomorrow."

My eyes widened. The Muggles had found out about magic. All my books, my basement... I was doomed.

Tremblay had noticed my silent shock and said: "are you afraid they have found something they should not have found? Something that infects the outcome of your case?"

I did not answer.

"You have to tell me. Otherwise we can't come up with a plausible story."

I doubted what to say. Maybe they had not looked into the books or found the basement, which sounded illogical to me, but I decided not to tell him anyway. What could I do else? Tell hi about the magic? No option. I had to think about this first.

"No, I'm not afraid. There's nothing to hide."

The lawyer narrowed his eyes. He clearly didn't believe me. I couldn't blame him, because it was a lie.

"I will see you tomorrow, Mr. Snape. Then I know more," he stated while he put his pile of papers back in his briefcase.

Tremblay walked towards the door with his briefcase in his hand. He knocked on the door, twice. A policeman opened the door to let Tremblay out of the room. As Tremblay wanted to leave, I asked out of the sudden: "how is Ellea doing?"

I was surprised by my own words. Where did they came from?

The lawyer looked a bit surprised too. Then, he said: "fine, as far as I know. The police doesn't tell me that much."

The man walked out and the door was closed again. Like always in here. Always those bloody closed doors. Always.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**So, no chapter(s) next week. The next chapter from Ellea's point of view will be posted the week after next week.**

**See you later!**


	5. To twist the truth

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**This chapter from Snape's perspective is based on chapter 31 in ****_The Magical Daughter_**** story from Ellea's point of view (which you can find on my profile as well).**

**Enjoy!**

I waited in the room for the next thing. However, nobody came for quite some time.

I had already waited for a long time and started to get bored. I stood up from my chair and walked around the small room to stretch my legs.

I walked over to the large mirror on the wall and looked into it.

I looked pale, paler than normally. My hair was greasy and uncombed. My clothes, wrinkled. Normally, I had them nicely ironed, so there were no folds- I liked to look decently-. But now. Folds everywhere. I looked horrible.

I despised those Muggles, for what they did to me, but the Dark Lord went too far with his opinion about Muggles. That was my opinion now at least. That had been different in the past. Still, I despised the Muggles, but eradicate them completely? No, that went too far.

I looked at myself and strange enough, it felt like someone was watching me. However, no window or whatever in the room. Only three chairs, a table and the large mirror. I wondered why that thing was here. Did Muggles like to look at themselves so much? I had never learned that during Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. Just odd.

At that moment, the two officers came back in. I turned around to face them. They had a different look on their faces and not one to like.

"Did you have a good talk with your lawyer?" Smith asked.

I nodded

"Take a seat," Brown said and the two seated themselves. I seated myself on the chair opposite to them again and knew something had happened. Something of which I knew was bad for me.

"And? Ready to talk?"

"Yes," I replied uneasily.

An unpleasant silence. I actually didn't want to, but sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do. The thing of growing up.

"Well, you can tell us now," Smith said. So I just began. Or I at least tried.

"You should know that it's very complicated," I stated to begin with the truth.

"Well, just try. We will see, right?"

"Yes."

"Could you tell me about the relation between you and Ellea Martin?" she asked.

I frowned in confusion. Evans? Was that her last name? Probably. Surprised? Yes. Why? Because she had never told me her last name. I had also never asked.

Brown had noticed my confusion and asked: "why so confused? We have asked you this question before, Mr. Snape."

I looked up at the man and gave the woman next to him a quick glance. I felt the feelings of hate towards them burning. They demanded an answer and no one could ever demand something from me. Well, only Dumbledore and the Dark Lord, but that would be it.

"The girl is mine," I quickly stated to hopefully feel nothing.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"That she is mine, you fool! I'm her father! Part of her DNA is me!" I exclaimed, still angry at myself for the fact.

The Muggles seemed surprised and gave each other a quick look before looking at me again.

"And why haven't you told us that before?" Brown asked.

"Because… I don't know. I can barely understand it myself," I lied. I understood it very clearly. Even too clearly.

"I think you need to explain that."

I sighed and started my story. I told them exactly like I had told it to my lawyer and added nothing. The two officers listened attentively and seemed to save every detail of my story inside their mind. Smith made some notes in her notebook.

After I had finished, they asked nearly the same questions as my lawyer had done and I answered them nearly the same. It surprised me how easily this went. But you're a Slytherin or not.

After they had nothing to ask anymore, the officers nodded. They seemed satisfied. And strange enough, me too. I had expected some more trouble actually. But never speak too soon.

"We have heard your story and I have to say that it's a remarkable one," Brown stated.

"Because it is," I responded.

The two looked at each other again.

The male officer stood up and passed me in my chair. The man made me suspicious. He made my neck hairs stand up straight as if he was a predator and I was his victim. A position I hadn't faced much the last years. Only in my childhood…

His slender body towered over the table. He had something in mind. Something bad for me.

"The only thing there is, is that your story doesn't really seems to fit with what we have found in your house," the male cop stated suspiciously.

My eyes widened a bit as I realised that this was going into the wrong direction for me. I hoped the man had not seen my reaction.

"Oh," I simply responded as if I did not care. "Explain."

"We have found particular things in your house, Mr. Snape," the woman stated monotonously. I turned back around to face her. Brown was still standing behind me. I felt his gaze burn into my neck.

"You are not really specific," I stated as monotonously as she had done. The woman frowned.

"Does this mean that you think there isn't anything particular in your house?" she asked.

I narrowed my eyes. "I didn't say that," I replied. I saw that my remark had made her a bit agitated. She bit her lip and seemed to push a nasty remark away.

"Than what kind of particular things do you have in your house?"

"Tell me," I stated arrogantly.

The woman sighed in frustration and finally gave in to begin about my stuff. I knew she meant my books, Hogwarts paraphernalia, my... I startled at the thought of them finding the basement. I hoped they hadn't. If they had, I would have already lost. Maybe I could still get me out of trouble with the Muggles, but there wouldn't be a chance against the Wizengamot. Revealing magic to Muggles… That would turn out into a long time in Azkaban. Azkaban, only the name already made me shiver.

"Tell me about your books and... well, particular clothes."

"Particular?" I asked her incredulously in way in which she knew I had acted it.

"I wouldn't describe it as ordinary," she stated.

I raised an eyebrow and leaned back in my chair. "That's a matter of perspective, isn't it?" I teased.

She frowned and looked at Brown, who still stood behind me.

"And the books?" she asked. "Where are those about?

I shrugged. "I suppose you have already read them, haven't you?" I wanted to know what they knew and I would try anything to achieve that. But would you expect differently from the Head of Slytherin?

"Yes. A bit," she replied. "But we want to know it from you." She looked expectantly and wouldn't accept a 'no' as an answer. A tough one, she was. I had to try a different way

"I think we have better things to talk about, haven't we!? You people accuse me of being a kidnapper and keep me here as if I am one! I am innocent!" I exclaimed. I had acted my anger and hoped it would change the subject.

"Why won't you co-operate, sir?" the female muggle asked. "I mean, if you are really innocent, you could prove it with co-operation."

I knew she was right and I tried to do it as good as I could, but there were certain things I simply couldn't talk about. I missed my bloody wand. Bargaining with Muggles. How low had I sunk.

"So? The books?" Brown asked as he passed me again and seated himself on his chair opposite to me. My plan to change the subject hadn't worked out, so nothing had really changed.

"The books were my mother's. I grew up in that house. It was hers before it became mine."

"After she died?" Smith asked as if it was one of the most normal. His tone proved he already knew the answer. They knew more about me than I had thought. I was probably already background checked.

"Yes."

"And why did she have the books?"

I shrugged. "She wasn't an ordinary woman and never talked about her strange rarities."

"Explain."

"Well, she thought those things did something magical."

"What things?"

"She thought that the books contained information about magic."

"Magic?"

"Yes."

"She thought that that exists?"

"Yes."

"What do you think?"

"Come on! That you have to ask me such a thing!? Of course magic doesn't exists! My mother's mental health wasn't the best. However, we have never asked a doctor to examine her."

"And how does it come you had a wand with you then?" the woman asked suspiciously. The two were not believing me and I somehow couldn't blame them. They were asking me difficult questions to prove my guilt. I had the answer to all their questions, but I couldn't tell them. I was in a difficult position. And for one of the first times in my life, I had no idea what to do.

"A wand? Excuse me!?" I exaggerated my astonishment. "Don't you people listen!? I don't believe in magic!"

"Than what is it?"

I did not really have a quick answer to that, but I had to come up with something in now and a second, so I said: "a stick for my owls to land on." A bad answer, I knew, but it had enough potential to work.

"Really? And how does that work?"

"Well, the idea is that I keep it in my hand and they land on it. It is just an idea, maybe it works." I was angry with myself I had to lie in such an idiotic way.

"And why did you have it in your pocket when we came?"

"Came? Is that how you call it?" I tried to change the subject.

"Arrested you. Whatever you want."

"Wherefore again?" I teased.

"You know."

"That's right, so shall we stay at the subject? I really want to prove my innocence here."

"We get that, Mr. Snape. We truly get that. But we have to understand everything before we can declare your innocence." Smith stated.

"I understand, but what does my mother's books have to do with that?"

"Your books. Your wand. You have a pretty okay explanations for the both of them. Well, rather strange ones, you have to admit."

"It's not a wand."

The man shrugged.

"But you know what I don't get? We have found a letter from your ex towards the girl, Ellea, her daughter."

I was shocked. Of course they had found it. Ellea had probably just laid in her backpack. Why hadn't I thought about this?

"We have read it, you know. Have you read it too?"

I shook my head. One of the few honest answers till so far.

"Did you know she had it?"

I nodded. "She told me that was how she found out I am her biological father. Or well, she believes I am because of her mom's letter."

"But you have your doubts?"

"Well, yes. Only the letter says I am. Just some words. Yes, her birthdate corresponds with some time I was with her mother. But who says she is not conceived after our break-up? And even if she is conceived in our relationship, who says she hasn't had sex with someone else?"

I already knew she was mine thanks to my potion, but that was magic, so I couldn't tell them that.

"So you are still in doubt?"

I rolled my eyes. "Haven't I just told you that?" I snarled.

"What would you think of a DNA-test? That could be fortunate to prove your innocence if she appears to be indeed yours," the man said.

I nodded in response.

"The letter did not only contain information about her being your child. It also contained a lot of information about magical things. Some special world, spells, potions etcetera. The information in the letter matched with the information in your books."

I was surprised by how well they had read everything. They knew more about magic than the average seventh year Hogwarts student by now.

"Explain that to me, Mr. Snape," the man demanded and leaned forward. His expecting look said enough.

I needed some time to come up with a good explanation for that one. The Muggles were really better than I had expected. I shook my head at the thought. _Never underestimate an enemy, Severus. Even Muggles can be tough to handle_.

_Tough Muggles_, I huffed in my mind. My father had been one. My father... I shook the thought away. He wasn't worth my time, and certainly not now.

"Mr. Snape?" Brown asked. "An explanation?"

"I stop talking," I stated coldly. It was better to stop talking. I didn't know what Ellea was going to say, so more talking could only lead to more problems.

"I'm sorry? You stop talking?" the man asked unbelievingly. "Why? I thought you were innocent? Because if you are, you can just tell us," he teased, while leaning back in his chair.

"I stop talking," I repeated just as coldly as before. The two Muggles looked at each other and sighed.

"You don't have to be afraid of us, Mr. Snape. You can just tell us your story. We won't tell anybody and we can prove your innocence with it."

I found it to be strange they kept changing their behaviour towards me. Tactics?

"I won't talk. I have just told you yet."

The man narrowed his lips to indicate his displeasure. "Well, I think we are done then," the male officer stated.

He looked at the woman to his side and she seemed to understand the answer, because she stood up and walked over to the door. She slammed two times against it and it was opened from the other side by the female cop I knew by face now.

"We are done here," Smith said to her. She nodded and walked over to me. She placed her hand gently on my shoulder to indicate to me I had to stand up and walk with her. The feeling of her hand was still ever so irritating, but I started to kind of getting used to it by now. Maybe that was the irritating thing.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**So, no chapter(s) next week. The next chapter from Ellea's point of view will be posted the week after next week.**

**See you later!**


	6. The first fist fight in decades

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**This chapter from Snape's perspective is based on chapter 32 in ****_The Magical Daughter_**** story from Ellea's point of view (which you can find on my profile as well).**

**Enjoy!**

"WHO are you!? WHAT are you!? Tell us!"

Their tactics had changed since the last time. I had been brought to my prison cell. I had had barely gotten any sleep and they had called for me again. Bastards.

They had ready been yelling for so long. I nearly fell asleep, even though their yelling, my head hanging down. My body had turned itself against me and it had surprised me how fast those things can happen. I had felt it coming, that was sure, but this?

"Don't you dare to even fall asleep in front of us!" the Muggle man yelled "Mr. Snape," he ended tauntingly.

But I was daring. Or well, there wasn't a thing like daring at all in this situation. I just couldn't bare the forced insomnia anymore.

A chair was briskly pushed backwards and suddenly I felt a hand pinching in my arm.

"Hey! Hey! What did I just tell you! Don't! Fall! Asleep!"

I didn't answer.

"Give us an answer asshole!"

No reply.

"For God's sake man, keep your head up!" The Muggle grabbed the hair on the back of my head and pulled my head back.

I yelled and groaned out of pain as he let go. Out of instinct, my hands went to the pace he had grabbed, but at the same another instinct found its way. Defence.

I jumped out of my chair and pushed the man against the wall. My frustration towards the Muggles finally found a correct way to express itself. Violence.

I hit the man as hard as I could in his stomach.

The man, surprised by my attack, had done nothing to stop me from pushing him against the wall, but the blow had awoken him. He kicked against my leg, which hurt, but not enough to make me stop.

I smacked him again and again in his stomach. I was fixated on smacking the hell out the Muggle, but strange enough I had the face of James bloody Potter in my mind- the last one I had given a full blow with my bare hands. I had yelled I would smack the magic out of him, but that' a bit difficult with Muggles.-.

Completely focussed on the man, I had not noticed Smith jumping from her chair and nearly jumping on me. She kicked me against the back of my knees which made me drop to the ground.

Brown jumped on me and knocked me right on my left eye. His next fist, right on my nose.

I grabbed his neck and squeezed as hard as I could, but he fought back.

He grabbed my hands and made us roll over the ground. I sat on top of him, still squeezing the hell out of him. Which was an odd way to fight for me, since I wasn't the type to fight like this. I was used to use my wand in dangerous situations and always kept my opponents at a distance. God I missed my wand.

Smith pushed me to the ground, my cheeks getting crushed between the ground and a powerful big hand pushing on my head.

Brown grabbed his throat and rolled on his side with the hope to get more needed oxygen. His coughing sounded so horrible and good to me, both at the same time, which I found disgusting. But he had started the fight, so it was his own fault.

The woman had quickly grabbed my hands and cuffed them. And as I was laying longer and longer on the ground, the puddle of blood next to my face became bigger and bigger. My nose was heavily bleeding and made it seem as if I was going to bleed to death, only by an injury to my nose.

"Are you okay, Sam?" Smith asked worriedly.

"I think so…" the Muggle groaned, coughing after every word.

The answer seemed to have made her furious. She pressed her hand against my cheek, which made breathing harder. Breathing through my nose was no option, due to all the blood.

I started to kick with my legs out of an uncontrollable reaction.

Smith gave an ominous laugh. "Let's see if you like it to have no breath," she growled and pressed even harder.

With her sitting on top of me, my hands cuffed behind my back, there was nothing to do against it.

I had to take a deep breath through my nose to get at least some needed oxygen. And that made me truly feel my nose was broken. I groaned and kicked with my feet, to no result. Was I going to die here? Killed by just one Muggle?

"Stop," Brown coughed, "your killing him!"

"I don't fucking care anymore!" she screamed at him and pressed even harder, which I had thought wasn't even possible at this point.

"We might be lucky if we already get away with a fight, let alone a dead suspect," he panted.

In the corner of my eyes I could see her face, in tears. Switching between looking at me and her colleague. Her hand slowly let go of my face and I breathed like Brown had done.

She crawled off my back and I just laid there. No reason to move. Cause where to. And my body made very clear it didn't want to move. Just lying on the ground was already painful enough.

Brown had gotten himself on his feet again. And sat next to me with his colleague.

"So what are we gonna do now?" Smith asked.

"Let's first look at the damage, shall we?" he replied coldly.

The two of them got a hold on me and turned me around.

"Oh, sweet Jesus," Smith whispered.

I could only see their horrified faces through one eye. I imagined the other one was too damaged by the fight.

"It looks worse than it actually is, Tess."

"Excuse me!" Smith exclaimed, "look at his fucking face!"

"The blood makes it look worse than it actually is."

Smith sighed. "Maybe your right. But did you really have to hit his nose that hard?"

"Jesus Christ, Tess! We were fighting and besides, you're the one who wanted to strangle him!"

"Shut the fuck up and help me clean this mess!"

"Well, cleaning up this room is not the problem, but what are we gonna do with him?"

They both stared at me for a moment. I was unable to say a word, thanks to my constant coughing and making sure the blood from my nose wasn't leaking into my mouth.

"I suggest we make his nose stop bleeding, put some ice on that black eye and his nose is probably broken, so maybe we can try to fix that as well," Smith suggested.

"I hope it will work, Tess, otherwise we lose or fucking jobs." He got a key out of his pocket and left the room.

Silence. Smith just sat there, watching me who had stopped coughing and had finally gotten enough strength to try and sit up. But that was far from easy with a heavily hearting and bleeding nose and cuffed hands.

When I had finally managed to sit, we stared at each other, her eyes full of anger, frustration and the fear of losing her job. Mine probably full of emptiness and/or fatigue.

"You should thank Sam for saving your life. I would have probably killed you if he hadn't stepped in."

And that comment. That comment made me so angry, so furious and made me nearly understand the hatred of the Dark Lord against Muggles again. Thank the man!? Thank the man for 'saving my life'!? He was the one who had started the whole bloody fight!

After now comment from my side she said: "you have brought this one yourself, Snape, so don't even expect an apology."

"Have I asked for a fight then!?" I exclaimed.

"You wouldn't even be here if you hadn't done anything illegal."

"I bloody haven't! And now this."

A silence again. We were both busy with ourselves. She stared at her lap and I kept wiping the blood from my nose away with the sleeve of my shirt.

Smith smiled and sniffed through her nose. "Maybe you are innocent. Maybe you are not. But the truth is you are a hard one to crack."

I narrowed my eyes.

"Barely getting sleep. Yelling. No sense of time. And yet you're still sitting here." She smiled again. "Well, you can leave all of this behind and go home tomorrow if you don't tell anyone about this."

"You don't have anything against me anyway."

And another strange smile. "No, we haven't. But I think you're kind of done with all of this now. And telling this would only attract more attention about this."

And there she had a point. She was right. And attracting more attention was one of the many very bad things that could happen.

Brown came back with an ice pack wrapped up in a dishcloth and a towel- which he handed to me-, a bucket with water and a mop.

I seated myself on an chair and pressed the ice pack against my eye and the towel underneath my nose. I tried to stop the bleeding by pressing just underneath my nostrils which was hard to do with a broken nose.

The two officers were cleaning the floor. Not in silence, they were whispering, but I couldn't here what. After they were done, they seated themselves too.

They stared at me and I stared back, with my one eye.

Brown sighed. "Look you're indeed going home tomorrow and I think we all want to make it all end there." He scratched the back of his head. "No one needs to know about this. But I believe Tess has already mentioned that."

I nodded.

"We will let you sleep for the rest of the night so you can heal. Please clean yourself up a bit. We don't want to attract any attention from others of course."

"Night? So it is night, huh," I snarled.

The both of them didn't react. No sorry. No regret for anything at all.

"Just take some sleep."

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**So, no chapter(s) next week. The next chapter from Ellea's point of view will be posted the week after next week.**

**See you later!**


	7. The Marauders courtroom

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**This chapter from Snape's perspective is based on chapter 39 in ****_The Magical Daughter_**** story from Ellea's point of view (which you can find on my profile as well).**

**Enjoy!**

The prison cells underneath the Ministry were only by sight already worse than the ones the Muggles had. Moss grew against the wet bricks. The prison cells were deep in the dungeons of the Ministry and apparently not kept in a well state.

The cell was just a box. No bed, no toilet, so I guessed my stay wouldn't be long, which stressed me out.

After some sitting in the cell, two Aurors came to pick me up. We took an elevator to a hallway with a black door. A little house-elf opened the door, which revealed a room full of wizards and witches, the Wizarding Court. By the sight of them, I knew the game was over.

The house-elf pointed to the chair in the middle of the room, surrounded by the court. I seated myself and felt intimidated by the court who all sat higher than me.

"Do you know why you are here, Mr. Snape?" an unpleasant looking woman asked with an extremely high pitched voice.

"I guess," I replied to the toad-like woman. She seemed like the judge and sat even higher than the rest of the court.

"Well, you are here because of the fact you have exposed magic to Muggles." She gave an expecting look to hopefully get a response, but since it was useless to defend myself, she didn't get one. "Is this true, Mr. Snape?"

I hesitated to answer. All those people around me, their faces full of disgust of me. And they were right. I had messed up. Pretty badly so to say.

And when I finally wanted to honestly answer, the doors slammed open, to reveal the headmaster of Hogwarts himself, Albus Dumbledore.

"STOP ALL OF THIS!" Dumbledore yelled. "I vow for this man! I know what has happened, but he did nothing wrong! Nothing intentionally actually," he had to admit.

The room filled with clamour from the court. Everyone felt the need to talk and presumably discuss the event with the ones next to them. Everyone, except the majestic monster woman.

"Excuse me for interrupting, Severus, but I will do it from here, trust me," Dumbledore whispered.

"I think I don't have to tell you you were not invited, headmaster," the toad-like woman snarled.

"I know, Mrs. Umbridge, but do people always need to ask for help? Sometimes we need to help people, even if they haven't asked for it."

Umbridge narrowed her eyes and looked at a court member next to her, who just shrugged. "Well, all right then, what do you have to say headmaster?"

"This man has always been nothing but good for our community-"

"He was a Death Eater in the Wizarding War," Umbridge interrupted him.

"That is verifiably not true, Mrs, Umbridge!" Dumbledore exclaimed. "Professor Snape has always been a spy for the Ministry. His status as a spy is nothing more than a mask for his good intentions. And his façade has worked. It has worked even so well that even Igor Karkarov believed it. You were there as he tried to get out of Azkaban by revealing the names of various Death Eaters. Little did he know, we already knew professors Snape was one of us."

"We didn't. You did."

"I told the Ministry later on."

Umbridge narrowed her eyes at that comment. She clearly didn't trust Dumbledore. He always had plans and operations the Ministry didn't know of. The Ministry hated that side of his. But since he was one of the most powerful wizards at the moment and he was on their side, they let him do his things.

"Igor Karkarov revealed the name of Barty Crouch Jr. That way we were been able to catch another Death Eater. A worse one," she stated.

"What do you want to say with that?" Dumbledore asked suspiciously.

"That Karkarov had a reason to get himself out of Azkaban."

"Karkarov created a reason. Severus has one," dumbledore retorted.

Umbridge smiled viciously. "Everyone has a reason, headmaster. But not every reason is a valid one."

"It's the combination of circumstances! You need to see the things from his perspective!" He wildly waved his right arm towards me. "What would you do in his situation!? He has done the best he could. What has happened is not his fault!"

"Then who's is it, headmaster?" Umbridge asked calmly.

Dumbledore paused to carefully choose his words. "The child forgot to tell him, but-"

"So it's the child's fault?," she interrupted him again.

"Not completely, but-"

"She is still a child and thereby not accountable for her own actions. Her guardian is. And you can't deny that's Mr. Snape."

"Even if the child had told him, this would have happened."

"Maybe, but not in the amounts this has occurred."

"Maybe it would have, maybe it wouldn't have. That is just a guess."

"You are right, headmaster, we should stay with the facts. The fact is and stays that Mr. Snape hasn't taken action. He has done nothing to prevent it from happening."

"Because he didn't know!"

"And how does that come?" she asked as if she finally had him.

"You can't blame him for the mistake of a child!"

"Don't blame me personally, headmaster. The law does."

"The court can make exceptions if the circumstances allow them to. Professor Snape has done everything in his power to keep magic secret to Muggles. He has said nothing to their Muggle Aurors for example."

"Those books were nothing of course," Umbridge scoffed sarcastically.

"He gave them not the best explanation for that, I have to admit that, but they bought it, so I don't see the big issue."

"Don't you know how much Aurors and people of the trauma team of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes have worked on this to fix this, or do you? This is not just an average case, headmaster."

Dumbledore sighed. "You look too much at what's on paper, Dolores."

Umbridge laughed sarcastically. "Weren't you the one who wanted to look at the facts and not the assumptions?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "I don't mean the facts, Dolores. I mean feelings. Feelings can sometimes clarify the facts better than a thousand words."

"Stop calling me Dolores, headmaster," she snarled.

"Excuse me. Mrs. Umbridge," he apologized, but Umbridge was having none of it.

She sighed. "This isn't helping. We are done, headmaster."

"Excuse me! Isn't helping? I'm not helping you! I'm helping this man!" He waved his arm in my direction again.

"Because you think he can't help himself? He is an adult man and a pretty powerful wizard as well. If he can't help himself, then who can?"

"This has nothing to do with someone's power to perform magic."

Umbridge sighed and buried her face in the palm of her hand. "I'm going to say this one more time: please leave the room, headmaster."

"Are you ordering me to leave the room!? Just because I'm defending this man!?"

"Yes. Or I will ask some Aurors to escort you out."

"THIS IS-"

"It's okay, Albus," I said out of a sudden, which surprised me as well. I looked up at him and gave him a trusting look. "She is right. I have to defend myself. It is my case. My actions. Sometimes even my mistakes. So it's my trial."

Dumbledore looked surprised and horrified. "Severus, please, it were no mistakes you have made. You did the best you could."

"I know. And I think I'm the only one who can convince them of that."

"The facts are against you, so that means you need to show your emotions and feelings to clarify your actions, Severus," he whispered. "And, let's be honest, you are not the best at-"

"I know, Albus," I interrupted him. "I know. But I need to solve this by myself."

Dumbledore sighed. "You have really made your choice, haven't you?"

"It's the best chance I have," I whispered, so the court couldn't hear it.

"And there is no other way I can convince you of otherwise?"

I shook my head.

Dumbledore nodded. "Well, then I wish you the best of luck, Severus."

I nodded to thank him for trying to help me.

"Know that I'm not the only one who's on your side," he said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. He winked.

Apparently there were more wizards and witches who thought I was in the right.

Dumbledore gave me a last pat on the shoulder and walked out of the room. The door slammed shut with a bang, which was fallowed by the sound of a lock, which made me sweat out of stress. I was on my own now. No Dumbledore to cover my back. The complete court was probably against me and it was up to me and me alone to change their minds. And I had to do it by talking about my feelings as well. 'Feelings' out of all things! I was doomed.

And that wink. Did he mean there were people in the court who choose my side? Or just people in the Wizarding World? I didn't know. But Dumbledore was always on my side, so it could only be something good.

"So, no one else to defend you anymore, Mr. Snape," Umbridge scoffed. "It's now just you, me and the Wizarding Court."

She tried to intimidate me. And even though I already was, I would never show her that.

"So, how do you want to defend you actions, Mr. Snape?" she asked.

"I want to tell my side of the story," I replied monotonously, while I tried to not look at all those eyes around me.

"You mean 'the feelings' where professor Dumbledore talked about?" Umbridge asked unbelievingly.

"Yes."

"After all I have heard about you, I thought you would be a man of facts. Not feelings."

"Feelings can be facts as well," I retorted.

She was clearly frustrated, cause I had talked her into a corner. Feelings and the actions which came out of those feelings could ruin the sentence she had in mind. She was clearly not the person Dumbledore had meant when saying there were more people on my side.

"Well, let's begin at the beginning then," Umbridge sighed.

This was the moment. The moment I had to select my words carefully to stay out of Azkaban. If I screwed up, I would directly go to Azkaban and never see anything of my life again. If I selected the right words, maybe there would be a chance I could influence the court. And maybe that could give me little to no punishment. A lot of maybe's, but always worth trying.

However, I wasn't good at talking about feelings, to say the least. It would be hard and I was afraid. Afraid of losing everything I liked in life. My job at Hogwarts. Making new potions. Creating spells. All gone if I messed up.

The whole court looked at me. Their penetrating eyes examining me. My heart was beating as if I was running a marathon and my knees... They slightly trembled. I hadn't been so nervous since my Hogwarts time. And that was long over.

"Ehm... yes... the beginning..." I stuttered, as I was still thinking of the right attitude and way I was going to say things.

"Yes, Mr. Snape. The beginning," Umbridge stated hatefully. "That's what I just said. Now go on. No need to become nervous," she said with a fake smile.

I dearly wanted to wipe that smile of her face with an Unforgivable Curse, but since I had no wand and it wasn't the right revenge anyway, I didn't do it. If I would ever get out of Azkaban, I would get my revenge one way or another. Once a Slytherin, always a Slytherin.

"I didn't know of her existence," I blurted out of a sudden, which surprised me even more than Umbridge.

"And with 'her' you mean your child?"

I slightly nodded. My brain refused to come up with words, since I had nearly sworn to myself to never talk about this matter with anyone. Not even with Dumbledore. And here I was, telling it to a whole room full of people.

"Her mother started a life in the Muggle World."

"We know. We know. We do our research, you know, professor," she scoffed. She got some papers from her desk and said: "I read she was beautiful and clever as well. But unfortunately for you," She took a dramatic pause. "A Squib."

"I... I... Yes, I didn't-"

"You didn't like a relationship between you and a Squib, am I right?"

I didn't answer.

"I mean, that's what she wrote in her letter." She grabbed another paper and read something. "Is that a lie, Mr. Snape?"

I took a deep breath and said: "that's a lie indeed."

The court whispered again, clearly appalled.

The girl's mother hadn't lied in her letter. It was nothing but the truth, but what could I have said otherwise? Telling them honestly I had had Death Eater believes? That I had been one of the Dark Lord's followers? Then I could immediately ask for a one way ticket to Azkaban.

"So a bullied, young, Squib would lie in a death note to her only child?" Umbridge asked unbelievingly. "Really?"

"Apparently," I replied silently.

Umbridge shook her head as the court whispered again. However, this time, they didn't stop as Umbridge said her first word again. She tried it two times, but the court was too amazed by the conversation.

One of the court members shouted: "I don't believe him!" Which was followed with discussing the event even louder.

"Enough!" Umbridge cried with her high pitched voice. The crowed calmed down. "I don't believe him either, so I advise the court to give him..." She took a dramatic pause again in which I couldn't breathe. The court seemed to have the same. "Veritaserum."

The crowd gasped together with me. Veritaserum hadn't been used in a trial for decades. It is the most powerful Truth Serum there is and very difficult to make. And expensive. Jobberknoll feathers was just one of the ingredients and one of those cost more than thirty starter packs of basic ingredients for seventh year Potions students at Hogwarts!

"However, the court has to decide. The court has to vote," she added.

The court mumbled for a few minutes, which gave me the time to think.

Veritaserum is one of the strongest potions out there. It can be countered with an antidote or Occlumency.

Well, I didn't have the antidote, which would have been the easiest way to counter the Truth Serum, but I had Occlumency. And I was pretty good at that, to say the least. I had hidden my secrets for the Dark Lord, one of the most powerful wizards in the existence of magic, but the Veritaserum would still be a challenge. After the fall of the Dark Lord, I hadn't used it that much anymore. And this wasn't the best time to start revising.

Then it became quiet.

"I guess, the court has made its decision. Raise your hand if you think we should use Veritaserum."

Nearly everyone in the court raised a hand, a bit hesitantly, but raising nonetheless. Only a few didn't raise their hand, who got raised eyebrows from the court members next to them.

It was obviously unanimous. I was going to be forced to drink Veritaserum and there was nothing I could do against it. But I had one advantage. Occlumency.

No one knew I was an Occlumens. My only chance at telling the story the way I wanted. To hide some of my deepest feelings and emotions. And keep some things secret to anyone.

"Bring the Veritaserum in!" Umbridge cried.

The small house-elf stumbled into the room with a small green bottle with a golden cap. He gave me the bottle and waited next to my chair.

"Please drink it," Umbridge ordered with a faked friendly voice.

I startled and looked at the woman. It sounded like she meant the whole bottle! Three drops were enough the let an adult man tell even his deepest and darkest secrets!

"I see your shocked. You know what some drops of it can do. We know as well. But we also know you are a pretty powerful wizard. We have heard from some of the people in your years as a Hogwarts student you knew more spells than some of the seventh year students-"

Some court members shrugged. A seventh year student who knows more spells than some other seventh year students. Not that big of a deal, but Umbridge hadn't finished her sentence yet.

"when you started at Hogwarts," she stated slowly.

The court gasped and stayed silent, eagerly waiting for more information.

"Drink the whole bottle, please," Umbridge requested.

"That's absurd!" one of the court members exclaimed. "Don't you realise how much risks that involves!? That hurts way too much for someone to handle! And then I haven't even told you about the health issues! We don't want to kill him!"

Umbridge seemed to become agitated by the resistance of the court and narrowed her eyes.

"Mr. Snape is not only a powerful wizard. He's a professor at Hogwarts as well. We all know only the best of best are asked to come to Hogwarts and teach the children of our society. We all know Veritaserum can be countered by an antidote or Occlumency. Well, he could have never taken the antidote. Our Aurors have watched over him the whole time he has been here. Then Occlumency is the only option that remains. Occlumency is something only very powerful wizards can master and let Mr. Snape just fit that profile."

"But he isn't a known Occlumens," the same court member retorted. "No one at the Ministry has a file of that."

Umbridge smiled maliciously. "Everyone has secrets. Even people who never seem to have problems at all." She looked at me with her hateful eyes. She wanted to destroy me completely. I would do everything to prevent her from doing that. She somehow reminded me of James Potter. The jerk.

"Even if you don't like it, the court has already voted," she stated, while looking hatefully at the court member. "Now, drink it, Mr. Snape. The whole bottle."

I looked at the little green bottle in my hand and the small house-elf next to me. It looked down, probably not daring to look at me. House-elves were not really brave creatures by nature, but did I look so frightening it didn't even dared to look at me?

I opened the bottle and looked at the golden cap of the bottle. It was now or never. If my Occlumency wasn't strong enough and they asked about my past, I was done. I had been a Death Eater. And a loyal one too. I would turn out as the second Sirius Black. A combination of the thought and the stress made me smile. Umbridge, James Potter. Me, Sirius Black. Where were Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew?

_Remus is that brave little court member, always trying to be the mannered one of the bunch. And Peter is... ehm... the whole court perhaps? Never daring to speak up against Umbridge, James Potter?_

"Come one, Mr. Snape. We don't have all day," Umbridge stated, waking me out of maybe the first happy thought about the Marauders.

I sighed. Empty your mind... control your emotions...

My mind became empty. There were no emotions left. I was a shallow version of the man I truly was. My body was present, but my mind was hiding all my secrets in the deepest corners of my mind.

I looked at the bottle one more time and swallowed everything at once. The court gasped.

I gave the bottle to the house-elf, who seemed just as surprised as everyone in the room. Everyone, except Umbridge, who seemed very pleased by the sight of the empty bottle.

I had taken some Veritaserum before- to test my Occlumency- but never this much. I felt the Serum leaving my stomach and going through my veins, to my brain. I groaned and grabbed my head, as if I tried to squeeze it all back down. My nerves slightly began to shake as I grabbed the handrail of the chair. The liquid began to find its way into my brain and I started feeling as I lost the control over it. My brain started to lose control over my body and the Occlumency seemed not enough.

The room gasped again and loud sounds of anger and fear filled the room.

How hard I tried, the pain blocked my Occlumency. I couldn't concentrate very well, but somehow found a way to keep the Veritaserum out of some parts of my brain. The Occlumency was working, but was it enough?

"Silence," Umbridge cried. "We don't have much time. The Serum doesn't work that long."

The room quickly became silent.

"First question: did you know about the child's existence?"

I couldn't resist myself from speaking the truth, but the Occlumency was working one way or another. I could take the question for how I wanted to see it. Umbridge hadn't asked _when_ I learned about her existence. I could turn the truth in any way I wanted it, and the Serum allowed me to as long as it was the truth. I had never known this was possible. And who knew? Who had ever been stupid enough to take so much Serum at once? And there weren't so much known Occlumens' out there, so who could have ever discovered it?

"No," I replied, which was technical the truth. Her mother had sent me letters about it, but since I had never opened those, I didn't know.

"When did you find out?"

"After Ellea's letter to Hogwarts," I replied quickly. The question couldn't be interpreted otherwise and the Serum was hard.

"Did you tell anyone about it?"

I wanted to say 'no' to keep Dumbledore out of trouble, but the Serum forced me to tell it. I used my Occlumency to fight it, but the Serum was stronger. The liquid in my brain started pushing against my veins and I groaned out of pain as I shouted: "Dumbledore knew! Dumbledore knew!"

"Alright," Umbridge stated coldly, as she wrote it down. "And he came with the idea to get her of the train?"

The pushing in my head reduced and I sighed: "together."

"So you took her home. And then? What did you do?"

Finally a question I could play with.

"We didn't do so much."

"Describe not much."

"Reading, talking-"

"About how her mother?" Umbridge interrupted.

The Serum did its job, so I had to say 'yes'.

"Was she angry? Because you left her mother, because she was a Squib?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied with gritted teeth. This was really not the part I wanted to talk about.

"And why do you hate Squibs so much?"

Another question I could play around. I didn't 'hate' Squibs, I 'hated' them. So I replied: "I don't."

Umbridge seemed surprised. "But she clearly wrote in her letter you left her because she was a Squib. Did you change your believes over the years?"

"Yes," I replied quickly. I was in a danger zone, a minefield. Every new question was a threat and what could I do about it?

"And why did you hate Squibs so much?" she asked.

The Serum wanted me to tell truth, but if I did, it was all over. My Death Eater past revealed. After all those years.

I resisted heavily. I threw all my power into my Occlumency and found a way to stop myself from talking. The pressure in my head increased. The veins in my brain felt like they were nearly popping. I groaned out of pain and grabbed my head. I tried to concentrate on the Occlumency, but the pain made it so hard. I shook my head wildly around, as if trying to shake the pain away.

The court mumbled louder and louder and even started to panic a bit.

"Give him the antidote, Umbridge!" another court member shouted at her. "Look at him! You knew the side effects of Veritaserum on the human body and still you gave it to him! Do you want him to die!?"

"Well, you have all voted for it, so you are just as guilty as I am!"

Everyone jumped out of their chairs at that comment and started to shout to each other, while I was still suppressing the power of the Serum.

"SILENCE!" Umbridge cried as loud as she can.

The court became silent and looked the me, moaning and off-world. I wasn't paying much attention to the court. The battle I fought in my mind was way more important at the moment.

"Who votes for giving him the antidote!?" Umbridge cried.

Everyone raised their hand.

"That's obviously unanimous. Bring him the antidote!"

The small house-elf ran into the room with another small bottle, opened it for me and held it in front of my face, so I could grab and drink it. But I was too far gone. I could only fight in my mind, there was nothing outside the mind. No sounds, no vision, nothing. Everything was darkness, pain and horror.

I didn't know what the court said or did after that. My attention to my surroundings came back when I felt a hand, squeezing in my arm, and something in my mouth and throat. I felt dizzy and tired, but no pain. I felt too sick to move. I started to notice more and more and noticed I was swallowing a lot of liquid.

I coughed and some liquid spit out of my mouth. The thing in my mouth was removed and I actually felt better and better by the second. Well, 'better'? It reduced the pain, but I still felt exhausted.

"My vision hadn't returned. Everything was black, but I was not asleep. I was awake and I knew the lights were on in the room. What was happening to me? Why didn't my sight come back? I started to panic, for as far as my state allowed me to.

"Are you feeling better now?" a polite female voice asked.

"I can't see," I could whisper, before I passed out.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**So, no chapter(s) next week. The next chapter from Ellea's point of view will be posted the week after next week.**

**See you later!**


	8. St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**This chapter from Snape's perspective is based on chapter 40 in ****_The Magical Daughter_**** story from Ellea's point of view (which you can find on my profile as well).**

**Enjoy!**

My eyelids felt as heavy as my limbs. My head told me it was time to get up, but my body thought otherwise.

I couldn't remember I had gone to bed and the bed felt different than my own. The blankets were lighter than the one I had at my home and the one I had at my real home, Hogwarts. But if this wasn't my own bed, then where was I?

I slowly opened my eyes to let them get used to the light. However, there was no light on in the room. It was not just dark in the room. It was all black.

It was probably just night, but the question remained: where was I? And why was I feeling so terrible?

I lifted my hands to the sides of my bed to get myself to sit and noticed an irritating feeling in and on my left hand as I did so. By moving my arm I felt something that felt like tape on my left arm, above the irritating feeling.

I placed my hand on the irritating feeling and felt a little knob with a smooth plastic string attached to it. I couldn't feel where the string was going to- my right arm wasn't long enough for that and I wasn't sitting yet-, but I had a feeling what it could be.

_Where do I need an IV drip for?_

But then I remembered. I had passed out in the courtroom after they had given me too much Veritaserum. I felt ashamed for showing myself that weakly in front of so much people, but at the same time, I felt glad. I wasn't in the courtroom anymore, so no more questions.

_But for how long?_ I asked myself pitiful.

I used my right hand to help me sit, but that was a bad decision. Immediately, I felt dizzy and sick. As if I needed to vomit. I coughed with my fist in front of my mouth and laid myself down again, which felt way better.

Now I knew why I was _here_, I was sick, but where was _here_?

I looked around, but everything was still dark.

_I will find out tomorrow_, I thought. _Where ever I am, it's somewhere the Ministry has brought me to, so it's secured. And without my wand, no chance of escaping. And where would I even go to? They will find me before I can lay my hand on a new wand. No, I stay here. I can better get some sleep for the next day, I'm very tired. Then I will find out what to do._

However, at the moment I closed my eyes, I heard footsteps. Footsteps which sounded very close.

I quickly opened my eyes and looked in the direction of the footsteps. However, there was nothing to see. It was still too dark.

"Oh," an elderly female voice laughed nervously. "I didn't know you were awake yet."

I didn't say anything and kept wondering how she could see my eyes in this darkness.

"I will get a healer," she said, which was followed with more footsteps.

A moment later she returned with someone who had heavier sounding footsteps.

I had closed my eyes and pretended I was asleep. I had no idea what I wanted to achieve with this, but by the clues- not my own bed, the IV drip and the word 'healer'- I supposed I was at St Mungo's. I hoped I would get some more information about everything as the healer was in the room, but how big was that chance? Well, big enough to take. What could I do otherwise?

The footsteps stopped.

"Professor Snape?" I heard a male voice ask. He sounded young and familiar, but I couldn't remember from what. Had he been a student of mine? He had called me 'professor' after all. I hoped he wasn't. I hated it to see old students.

I didn't react and didn't move.

The man sighed. "Was he truly awake?"

"Oh, are we not believing the old nurses anymore? Young is not always better, you know?" she scoffed.

The man slightly laughed. "No, I wouldn't even dare to say that." He walked over to my bed and touched my left hand.

I shivered from inside. I hated it when people touched me.

"Not in your presence at least," he whispered as he was close with his face to mine.

An even bigger shiver now.

It did not look like the woman had heard him, because she asked: "where are you looking at?"

"Well, I look inside his ears to see if there's still some Serum dripping out of his brain," he explained.

"And?" she asked curiously, the same thing I was wondering a bit more worriedly.

"Well, there's little to no Serum in his ears." He took a small pause to examine me. "And neither in his nose."

_How can he see in this darkness? Why doesn't he just switch on the light?_ I wondered. But then I remembered. I had lost my vision before I had passed out in front of the court. I became extremely scared and realised there was the chance I still hadn't regained it yet. I didn't know for how long I had been at St Mungo's already, but I was afraid they wouldn't be been able to cure it at all. Then I would be blind for the rest of my life. That meant I could say farewell to my job at Hogwarts, the thing I liked the most in life.

"That's sounds good," the woman commented happily.

The man laughed nervously. "And that's why I'm the healer and you're the nurse," he scoffed. "I hoped he would get it all out of his body by himself, but its not going as quickly as I had hoped for. He has only been sweating a bit more than an average man of his size and age and that's certainly not enough."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"That's a good question," the man commented. "I have never seen a case like this. And taking an overdose Veritaserum isn't in the study for becoming a healer. In fact, I have looked up if there have been other known cases of this in the past, but I can't find any other files. So, I'm kind of trying to figure out what works."

"That doesn't sound quite good, Brian."

_Oh, how nice. He has been a students of mine_, I thought sarcastically. Brian Westminster had been a _bearable_ student of mine in the first year I had taken the place as Potions Master at Hogwarts. He was a Ravenclaw, smart and very talented in herbology. Potions had not been his favourite subject, but I never expect many appreciate the subtle science and exact art of potion making. However, those select few who possess the predisposition can be thought nearly everything. As long as they want to. Brian had been interested in Quidditch and girls above his talent for potion making. Brian was fortunate to have the talent. The talent was unfortunate to have Brian.

"I know, I know, Marry. But don't worry, I have an idea."

"Oh, explain." She sounded even more eagerly for the answer than I was.

"Well, I believe he has been awake-"

"I told you!" she interrupted him.

"Yes, yes, Marry. He has slept a day and in his condition and I had not expected any different. Now, he's asleep again and I want to keep it that way."

"I don't understand," the nurse said.

"The Serum has to come out together with liquid from the body. Sweating is going to be the easiest way, so I'm going to make him sweat as much as possible."

"That doesn't sound comfortable."

"Indeed. And that's why we are going to keep him asleep."

"So he won't feel a thing?"

"Indeed, Marry." He went over the knob of the IV drip with his hand. "The potion I'm going to give him won't make him feel comfortable at all. You and I don't know how much it hurts when we sweat all the liquid out of our body and I don't want him to know it either."

"But if you make him sweat all the liquid out of his body, he will die," Marry whispered, so no staff member outside the room could hear it.

"No, No, don't worry, Marry. I think someone of his size and age sweats around the 0,2 gallon per day when he doesn't move. So I will keep the fluid balance in his body in balance by getting him around the 0,2 gallon of liquid every day."

"Through the IV drip?"

"Yes, through the IV drip he has now. I want to ask you to give him another one on his other arm for a sleeping potion."

"And which sleeping potion did you have in mind?"

"The Draught of Living Death, I think," he replied.

"Oh, the heavy stuff, huh?" she asked while I heard her footsteps.

"I have already told you I don't want him to wake up under any circumstance," he stated arrogantly.

Marry sniffed out of disbelieve.

"And what do you mean with that?" he asked agitatedly.

"Hasn't he been your Potions Master at Hogwarts?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah, and what does that have to do with this?"

"Well, I've heard he wasn't the nicest teacher around. Good time to give some payback, don't you think?"

"Excuse me!?" they healer exclaimed-exactly my thought-. "I would never do that! Not even to an old git of a teacher!"

I hoped the two hadn't seen the slight movement of the corners of my mouth. I knew Brian had never liked me and neither did I like him, but I had never heard a student defending me. And certainly not in that way. It was funny, because I doubted if I would have ever defended him.

"Wow, I'm sorry Dr. Dolittle. I was just joking," Marry teased.

"I don't want you to joke about the wellbeing of my patients," the healer stated agitatedly.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Now, do you also need another the IV drip for that sweating potion?" she asked quickly to change the subject.

"Yes, I do. A type 4, please," he requested politely.

The nurse walked out of the room and later returned, with the intravenous drips presumably.

"Might I ask how that sweating potion is called?" she asked curiously as she tied a tight band around my right arm.

I hadn't expected it and winced a bit. The nurse reacted immediately.

"Did you see that?" she asked.

"Saw what?"

"He moved, I saw it."

"Yeah, just like the last time," the man teased.

"Stop it, Brian! I really saw it!" she stated angrily. "Mr. Snape?" she asked quietly. "Mr. Snape?"

"Stop it, Marry. Let the man sleep," the healer snarled curtly. "Put those drips in his arms and we will check on him later on."

"All right, you're the boss," she stated agitatedly as she roughly cleaned a piece of skin above the other IV drip. It felt like she put a syringe in my arm, but I was prepared this time. I didn't even wince. She did the same to my other arm and everything seemed prepared for my treatment.

"I don't understand why you're not just using the Antidote to Veritaserum," the nurse said. "Why such a difficult plan if there's already a potion for it?"

"The Antidote hasn't done it's job good enough. The Veritaserum is in every vein already. No matter how much Antidote we put into his body, it will never be enough to fight the Serum. It's simply too strong."

"But a sweating potion-"

"Doesn't exist yet, I know, I know," he interrupted her. "No one has ever needed a sweating potion before, so why making it? And I don't have the time to start experimenting and trying to create one."

"Is his life in danger then?" she asked unbelievingly. "It doesn't seem he is."

"And he isn't. At the moment. But the Serum isn't leaving his body properly. If it stays too long in the body, it can cause irreversible damage to his organs and even mean death in the end."

"Well, the situation is much worse than I thought," she commented.

_No shit, you twit!_ I thought angrily. I was apparently slowly dying and the only ones who could save me were some healers in a basement, trying to figure out the right ingredients for a sweating potion. A damn sweating potion! And according to my ex-student, there wasn't that much time left. Why was he even still trying to help me if there was no hope anyway?

I had stiffened after the news. I had no idea what to do with the news and how many time I had left. I had never imagined I would die like this. Place: probably St Mungo's. Cause of death: an overdose of Veritaserum. That sounded so pathetic.

"Yes. Yes it is. But I have a plan."

"What is it then?" the nurse asked eagerly.

"I'm going to mix some potions together to hopefully get a good effect."

"And which potions are you going to mix?"

"The Oculus Potion, I think, cause his last words before he passed out were: I can't see. The Thick Golden Potion to make the potion stronger. And the Pepperup Potion, since a side-effect of that is sweating. So I want to get that extract of the potion into my mixture. And I have a preference for only that extract, cause we don't want him to have steamy ears 24/7."

His last sentence made the nurse laugh, which I found incredibly irritating, because to me, my situation was not that funny to say the least.

"The Thick Golden Potion needs incantations, right?"

"Yes, to increase the level of magic. And I think I need to take The Potent Exstimulo Potion for myself."

"Why would you need to level up your own power, Brian? I know you as a pretty powerful wizard."

My ex-student sighed. "I might know a lot about fixing the body, but I'm not that powerful and certainly not someone who's always certain about what to do. I am the first one who's going to try to help someone with this problem. And not just someone, my old Potions Master himself. I'm nervous as hell, Marry!"

"Oh, please Brian, don't think that way."

"What if I screw it up!? Then he dies, Marry! Because I was experimenting on him!"

"And if you don't he dies anyway!"

I doubted what to do. To 'suddenly' wake up and talk to my ex-student about the fact he had to try. Or staying silent, pretending I was asleep and let him come up with the decision for himself? Brian wasn't the person to let someone die without trying to save him. I knew that after seven years of teaching him.

Brian sighed. "I have never been in this position before, Marry."

"You're young and emotional, Brian. I get that. It is stressful, but you have to start trying to help him."

He had stayed silent for a moment before he said: "yes, yes, you're right."

"So you're going to start with making the potion?"

"No," he calmly said.

I was ready to explode and tell the young healer he had to, but then he added: "I have already made it."

I was relieved and immediately realised why I had started hating the man in the first place.

The nurse laughed. "This is how I know you, Brian!"

The healer laughed as well, only a bit more nervously. "Okay, Marry, I need a big IV-bag full of Draught of Living Death as quickly as possible."

"Coming up, boss," she stated happily as I heard footsteps through the room.

"I will get the IV-bag with the mixture of potions, myself."

They both left the room and I opened my eyes. Everything was still black. Maybe the Oculus Potion would change anything.

I closed my eyes again when I heard footsteps coming.

"Are you completely sure, Brian? Don't you want to discuss this with Mr. Snape?"

"He's asleep and there's no time to lose. I don't want to waste time in explaining what I want to do and then letting him decide if he wants the treatment or not. He has no time for that."

"But if you hadn't tried this treatment, how long would he still have?"

The healer sighed. "I don't dare to say anything certain with this, but I guess two, maybe three days."

"No time to lose. Let's begin then," she stated.

"Okay, first, you need to connect the IV-bag with the Draught of Living Death. Then, we wait for three minutes to certainly know he's asleep. And then, we connect the mixture."

"And then the sweating begins?"

"I hope so," the healer replied.

"Well let's try it out then," she commented as I felt the string of the IV move.

Normally, I was a 'let's just try it out' myself, but now, we were talking about my own body. And my ex-student had been right. This wasn't such an easy thing for him as well. Experimenting on a human being was certainly not a thing for a Ravenclaw.

I felt that the Draught of Living Death was doing its job. A moment ago I had had the choice to move, but now, I felt too exhausted to even open my eyes. It was frightening, but at the same time it felt very good. For a moment, I forgot what I had just heard. That I was probably dying. Maybe there was a chance I wouldn't even wake up out of this state. That I would die without even knowing it.

However, I couldn't care anymore. I had quickly taken off to my own dreamworld.

The times I could remember my dreams- which were rarely- I remembered me and Lilly at the dirty river close to the town we lived in. The bank was strewn with litter of the factory's outside Cokeworth. Us, laying in the grass, I would let the leaves fly out of the trees like birds. Lilly would laugh, which filled me with indescribable happiness. The love in my heart when she showed me that particular smile only she and she only had. No one had ever made me so happy like Lilly had done.

The dream would always end with me, holding her unmoving body. Lilly's body. The corpse of my one true love.

I would always wake up with sweat on my face and the feeling of sadness caused by the last scene, but it would always be worth it. Seeing her face through my eyes, as if it was real. As if she was still alive. I would never dare to wish for a better dream.

I had the feeling my next hours of sleep were going to be filled with that particular dream and I looked forward to it. I liked drinking Firewhisky with my friend Lucius, I liked being a teacher at Hogwarts and sometimes I even enjoyed the company of the child that was apparently my own, but the times I would go to bed were the best. The only moment I ever looked forward to in my life.

There had been so many witches and wizards who had tried to find evidence for the afterlife, but none of them had found any hard prove for its existence. For a long time, I had hoped there would be one, so I could talk to Lilly again and explain to her I loved and cared for her so much. That I had been a fool, that I had made so many mistakes and that I was sorry for all of them. I would tell her how much I loved her and that I hoped she would ever love me, but deep down I knew she would never forgive me. By life, she had been in love with the only man I had ever despised more than my own father, James Potter, and I doubted if she would ever leave him, the beautiful looking father of her child, for me, a dark, emotionless and ugly wizard.

Life sucked and so did the afterlife. So why not living in my own dreamworld at night?

My thoughts were certainly strange to others and maybe it was due to the sleeping potion, but I really couldn't care anymore. Dying or not, I would always be unloved.

I smiled one last time when I played Lilly's smile in my mind and left reality for my own subconscious state of eternal bliss.

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**So, no chapter(s) next week. The next chapter from Ellea's point of view will be posted the week after next week.**

**See you later!**


	9. Talent

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**This chapter from Snape's perspective is based on chapter 41 in ****_The Magical Daughter_**** story from Ellea's point of view (which you can find on my profile as well).**

**Enjoy!**

"What was that, Severus?" Lucius asked indignantly when his wife and the two children had left the room.

"What do you mean, Lucius?" I whispered back. Not drinking water for some days hadn't done my throat any good.

"You were just straight up rude to that child," Lucius replied seriously. "Why did you do that?"

"I wasn't rude."

"Yes, you were!" Lucius retorted. "And it was completely unnecessary. I get the feeling there is more to this then you dare to admit."

"There is nothing more, Lucius. Only the facts and those are true. And if you think my reactions towards the girl are 'rude' it's _your_ opinion. And even if it was rude, it's none of your business to say something about it."

"Excuse me!?" he exclaimed. "Am I not taking care of the kid on _your_ behalf?"

"I haven't asked you to do that," I stated monotonously.

"No. No, you haven't indeed. I do it, because I'm your friend, Severus. I'm trying to help you," he pleaded.

"And I appreciate that, Lucius," I tried to sooth the situation. I didn't want to talk about all of this. It was my business, not somebody else's.

"And why can't I say something about it in the first place? Because it's your kid?"

"Shut the hell up, Lucius," I whispered as loud as I could.

"I get the feeling the Daily Prophet was right," Lucius said.

"And what did it say then?" I asked fiercely.

"That you and Ellea don't really get along."

I grumbled. How could the Daily Prophet know that? Had they watched us that closely? Or were they just gossiping?

"The girl and I get along fine, Lucius," I mumbled.

"I don't think so," Lucius said as he stood up and replaced his seat from the end of the bed to next to me. "There are enough indications to take you're lying."

"Don't be so cryptic, Lucius, you're not talking to the Daily Prophet now. This isn't work."

Lucius sighed. "You keep calling her 'girl' instead of just calling her by her name. I think it's too painful for you to say her name, because that, in your mind, indicates too much she's yours."

I laughed. "That's complete and utter nonsense, Lucius," I lied.

"Then tell me why you do it?" he asked.

I had no answer. I couldn't find a good lie. Lucius had been completely right, which was painful. Maybe it was because he was my best friend or because he was so right, but the fact remained I couldn't lie to him.

"That's right," Lucius said to break the silence. "I'm completely right. You have never known of her existence and it's painful to see her now, since you have missed so much of her childhood. That's difficult. I get that."

"You can't understand anything of this!" I tried to shout, but ended up couching instead. It surprised me he had it wrong, after having the first part right. However, I couldn't blame him for not understanding how I felt. I sometimes couldn't even understand my own feelings. But even though he was wrong after all, he could understand nothing about my situation. No one could.

"You're right," he admitted. "I have never been in your situation before and I hope I never will..." He stopped talking and looked at me as if he had invented a new spell. "You have never wanted her!" he stated as if it was a happy thing. "You have never wanted a child and now, you suddenly have one," he said with a quieter voice. "I'm so sorry for you, Severus."

"I don't want your pity, Lucius," I snarled.

Lucius smiled. "You've never wanted that. In our schooltime already. But if I had never shown you my pity, we had never become friends. It was wrong how that dirty Gryffindor treated you. But we got our revenge sometimes."

"We met because of our shared passion for the Dark Arts," I snarled. I didn't want Lucius pity and I had never wanted it. I didn't 't need pity. I had never needed pity. Pity was for the weak and I wasn't weak! I had never been weak! Potter had been a swine and now he was dead. He had gotten what he had deserved, but Lilly. My sweet Lilly. He had taken her into his grave, the bastard!

"Also true," Lucius admitted. "You have always been better at it than me."

"Maybe I am, Lucius, but there are enough things you are more skilled at," I stated. I was secretly happy the subject had changed. No one needed to know my thoughts and feelings and no one ever would if that stayed up to me. I knew I couldn't handle another treatment of Veritaserum.

"I know, Severus, but those things have more to do with our talent for manipulation, not with our talent for magic." He sighed. "When I was younger, I envied your talent. Your knowledge of spells, magnificent."

I didn't know what to say. I felt flattered, but he would never know that. I would never tell him. However, Lucius wasn't the type to be generous with compliments if it hadn't a purpose. I wondered where he was up to.

"Did you know that a talent for magic can be inherited?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered suspiciously.

"I have spotted that Ellea has a talent as well."

"Can't we talk about something else?" I asked him in a bored way.

"No, we can't," Lucius replied seriously. He sighed and continued: "it's very serious, Severus. You have a child to take care of now."

"As if I don't know that," I snarled.

"I know that you know, you fool! But the problem is that you have no idea _how_ to do it!"

"Excuse me?" I exclaimed surprised. "I know damn well how to take care of a child, Lucius! I am a bloody teacher at a boarding school, remember!"

Lucius threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "But that is your damn job! Teaching! Potions! That's were you signed up for! Not teaching them to see the right from wrong! How to act socially acceptable! Nothing of that! Nothing that a real father needs to do!"

"I have never wanted this, Lucius!"

Lucius laughed. "You have never wanted to make a child, yet you couldn't keep your bloody penis in your pants."

"If I wasn't in this bed I would use an Unforgivable Curse with great satisfaction," I threatened, but Lucius wasn't having any of it.

"But yet you are. You are laying in that bed, while I and my wife are taking care of _your_ little mistake."

"You are so lucky I don't have my wand!"

Lucius sighed and shook his head. "And you are so lucky you have us, Severus. What do you think would have happened to you and 'your little mistake' if we hadn't been there for you to save your ass? That's right, Azkaban for you and traveling from foster home to foster home for 'your little mistake'."

It was silent for a moment. We both needed some time to process it all. Lucius had been right. If he and his wife hadn't been there, it would have ended like he had said, in Azkaban.

Lucius broke the silence and said: "I still don't get why you are so averse to the girl. She is obviously trying to become closer to you and you seem to always turn it down. Is it because she's half Squib, cause I would understand that."

I sighed. "That's not it. It's just…" I doubted what to say. Being honest? He was one of my closest friend, of course, but was I willing enough to be open about everything? No, but I couldn't lie to him either, he was my best friend after all.

"Come on, Severus. You can trust me, you know that. We have been friends for so long now," he pleaded.

I sighed again. "Well, it's that I… I have never wanted to settle down."

Lucius seemed genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"

"You know that I have always loved Lilly, right?" I began, but was interrupted by Lucius.

"In your years at school, yes, that was obvious, but even-"

"Even after our years at school," I interrupted him. "And even when she got pregnant from Potter. And even when she died. And even when I visit her grave. I will love her till the time no one will visit mine anymore. And even after that."

Lucius needed time to process my intense comment. And he wasn't the only one. I couldn't believe what I had said. No one had ever known about my long-lasting love for Lilly. And telling it in such a way? What was happening to me?

Lucius stood up from his chair and walked around the room, thinking.

"But if you have loved Lilly for, like always, then how can you start a relationship with someone else?"

"It's complicated, Lucius," I said to end the conversation. Talking about my feelings had never been my strongest point and my last confession about my life had shut me off completely. "I don't want to talk about that."

Lucius nodded, understandingly. "And Ellea is a symbol for the betrayal of your love for Lilly?" he asked seriously.

I sighed again and contemplated what to say. "I guess so. But it's also-" I stopped talking. There was no need for him to know that.

"You were confronted with her existence so suddenly and suddenly everybody expects you to be the loving and caring father?"

I was surprised. How could he know that? How could he have known I had wanted to say that?

Lucius had seen my surprise and smiled. "I know you longer than today, my friend."

"I have never wanted to ever be that kind of man. A father. And certainly not like you describe it."

"That's simply not you," Lucius stated.

I kind of felt offended by that comment, I didn't know why. However, he was right.

"That's indeed not me. And even now I have a child, that won't change. I can never become a good father. That's a talent you possess and I don't."

Lucius slightly smiled. "Don't you sometimes feel remorse you're not that man? The father-man?"

"No. No remorse. More like panic. I suddenly got stuck in a situation I had never expected, had never prepared for and had never wanted. I will never be the father-man like you, just like you will never be the talented wizard like you see me. We can't change that. That's not one of our decisions. And it will never be. That way, we can never feel remorse for it."

Lucius looked at the window in the wall, but there was nothing special to see. "You're right about that, Severus. But what about the future? You say you can never settle down with a wife, maybe have more children and become the father she needs, I disagree, but-"

"What do you mean with that?" I interrupted him.

"well, you are not that emotionless creature you say you are, Severus. You're kind and caring. You always helped me with my homework for Transfiguration, remember?"

"That's it, Lucius. I think I can only teach school related things. Not lessons about life."

Lucius slightly smiled. "You think too much, Severus. Sometimes you just need to do and see what happens. Experimenting. You are the Potions Master at Hogwarts, you know everything about experimenting."

"I have experimented in the time she lived in my house, but believe me. I can't be that loving father."

Lucius shook his head. "Maybe I should let you into the secret," he said mysteriously.

"What did I say about being so cryptic?"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry professor," he joked. "Don't give me any detention, please!"

One of the reasons he was my best friend was he always knew how to make me smile, even when I felt very depressed.

"The secret is: there isn't such a thing as being 'a talented father'. We are all just experimenting. We don't have a clue about what we're doing. Women have a certain instinct and know what to do and how to act from the get go, but we men?" He shook his head. "No one knows. It's a thing you need to learn. The longer you are a father, the better you become at it. And still then, we don't do everything perfect. I mean, look at Arthur Weasley. He and his family look very happy and how much kids does he have 40 or so!? But he still makes mistakes. Sometimes he's very grumpy at the Ministry. Then I hear from his boss he had had argument with one of his 394 kids."

I sighed. Lucius tried so hard, but I had already made my decision.

"Look, Lucius, even if I _can_ learn how to be one, I don't want to learn. Being a father wouldn't make me happy in life."

Lucius became more agitated now and narrowed his eyes. "You sound like a teenager right now! Children are not only fun! They are a responsibility! Parents need to take care of their child and if you had never wanted to be granted with the title of 'father', you should have never fucked that dirty Squib!"

How much I wanted to be angry at Lucius, I couldn't. He was right and I hated him for that. I hated myself. I hated everything around me. Everything had turned into one big clusterfuck when 'that girl' had entered my life.

"We can have this conversation all day long, but in the end the situation is this: 1. You don't want to raise the kid. 2. You will have to, because you are her father. must try to become a good 'father-man', otherwise the relationship between you and your daughter is going to be bad and you will both suffer from that."

"So, you say I have to give up my job to become a daddy?" I snarled.

Lucius shook his head again. "Think about this for a moment, Severus. You work at Hogwarts. She isn't old enough to be a student there yet. I have heard McGonagall has a cottage in Hogsmeade. Can't you get one for you and Ellea?"

"And if I can get a place, who's going to take care of her while I'm teaching?" I tried to shut his plan down. I really wanted to stay ALONE. The title of 'father' didn't fit me already, but Lucius had been right about that. If I had never wanted that title than I should have never been so foolish. But the title of something like a 'daddy'? Big no-no. Never.

"Hell, I don't know, Severus, but I'm at least trying to help! What do you want then!? You don't want to be the father. Okay. Then tell me where you're going to leave her. Where is _your_ child going to grow up?

To be honest, I hadn't thought about that one yet.

"That's right, Severus! You know, somewhere deep down, you have to step up and do what's right."

And he was right again. Somewhere deep down I had thought about it. The most when I had been in that Muggle prison cell. Me, being a better father than my asshole of a father had ever been. From when I had been so young, when my father had dragged my mother by her hair through the house again, and I lay down on my bed, looked out of the window and told myself I would become a better man than my father. And now? Now I was an adult. And was I really a better man? He had neglected me. I was planning on neglecting mine as well. What had become of me? I had been so innocent back then. But also so ignorant. My younger self had never known of the obstacles on the way of becoming an adult. Maybe it had been my destiny to become a piece of shit like my father. My students had always seen me like that and now, I was seeing it all way much clearer.

"I just… need time to think," I managed to say.

"I understand. But I know you will take the wisest decision. You always do."

"Thank you, Lucius."

"No worries, my friend. You're my best friend and that's what friends do, right? Helping each other when needed."

"You've got that out of a dictionary, don't you?"

Lucius smiled brightly. "Glad you've still got your sense of humour."

"Did I ever have that in the first place?"

We laughed, but both felt there still was some tension in the room.

"I think it's time to leave, my friend," Lucius said.

"I guess, so."

"Goodluck with the resuming of your treatment and with deciding."

"Thank you, Lucius."

He folded up his chair and placed it against the wall. He walked to the door and said: "I have to say we've had more enjoyable conversations."

"A wise man once told me you sometimes just have to start and see what happens. Sometimes it ends up great, sometimes bad. Experimenting."

"You're such a sleazeball! Kissing my ass to let her stay with me till you're out of trouble?" Lucius joked.

"Very funny, Lucius," I stated monotonously.

"Don't worry, Severus. We will babysit the 'little mistake' till you are capable of doing it."

"Thank you. And your wife."

"That's alright. I will see you later."

"Bye."

As Lucius left the room, he was immediately passed by my healer.

"Ready to resume the treatment?" he asked, while checking some equipment. "You must feel tired after so much visitors who want to talk to you."

"Yes," I sighed. "Certainly. I can use some sleep now."

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**Last chapter coming up. The next will be the last, but I can say it was fun to write this for you all and I hope you have enjoyed it. Last chapter will be out in three weeks. Summer stuff, you know.**

**Well, see you in three weeks!**


	10. 8 years later

**Author's Note:**

**Hey reader!**

**I have no idea what went wrong with uploading the chapter last time. It came out in some kind of code. Special thanks to Meester Lee for pointing that out. Let's try it again.**

**This chapter from Snape's perspective is based on chapter 42 in _The Magical Daughter_ story from Ellea's point of view (which you can find on my profile as well).**

**Enjoy!**

8 years have passed since that day in the hospital. And a lot has happened since then. Let's begin from the beginning.

Lucius' plan had worked. A picture of me next to Ellea had been at the cover of the Daily Prophet. Everyone had seen it. Everyone talked about it. And the Ministry had had no idea what to do.

They had tried shoving it all under the rug, but thanks to Lucius that hadn't happened.

At the time, I had not known his plan had worked. Nobody told me anything. Not even when I asked for any information about the world outside St Mungo's. I had been a prisoner of the Ministry and those weren't allowed to get any information from the outside world. And I was no exception.

The treatment had gone well. I had felt way better and my healer had been very happy with his achieved results. I would later find out he had been so happy because of the amount of Galleons he had still gotten to never tell anyone about what had happened.

My healer told me I had to do certain exercises to get back to my old level of health. My body had worked hard to get healthy again and had given up a lot of strength. It had been painful that my ex-student had to teach me things, but if it really helped, I had to do it.

And then, at a morning, 2 Aurors stepped into my private hospital room. They had said it was the day for the continuing of my assize. I hadn't heard that before, hadn't practised anything I had wanted to say, so I had been shocked.

When I dressed myself, I practised a bit of my story and wondered if Lucius' plan had worked. But we would leave the hospital very soon.

Once at the Ministry, we had to push us a way through the press. People were taking pictures, shouting question and trying to touch me to get my attention. However, the 2 Aurors pushed them aside so we could pass.

We had taken the quickest way the courtroom and in no time I sat in the chair again, but in contrast to the last time, they looked insecure, instead of confident. Even Umbridge wasn't her evil self.

The court had declared they had done their research, had made mistakes and therefore wanted to vote if I was allowed to be set free without any further punishment.

It had made me confused they had not even asked me for my side of the story. Umbridge had not even told the court why I was in front of the court to begin with, but I had imagined Lucius had pressured them so much, they had not dared to vote otherwise then 'asked'. Lucius, a master manipulator, a true Slytherin. Who dared to claim Slytherins were never evil, would be ignorant. But always evil? Also untrue. Most people just don't understand the traits of a Slytherin. Most of the time, Slytherins are seen as unlikeable, but always unusable? Certainly not. And Lucius had proved that that day.

And before I had realised the decision of the court, Umbridge slammed with her wooden hammer on her high up desk and declared I was free to go.

2 Aurors guided me to an exit without press. I followed them, still confused about the speed of the assize, maybe even scared, since this could never be true. It all went a bit too easy. And I knew enough about life to conclude there had to be a trap somewhere. I had not had my wand, so it had to be something with magic.

And then, Lucius, out of a sudden. He had pulled me out of my reverie with his sudden hand on my shoulder. He had told the Aurors he could do it from there. A relieve. Lucius is my friend, a wizard with a wand I can trust. I, on the other hand, had no wand. I had had no idea where the Ministry could have hidden it and had doubted if I would ever find it back, but Lucius' hand had pulled it out of his pocket as if he had had it all along.

I had felt way stronger with my wand in my hand. I'm a strong wizard. Most wizards can't win a duel against me. I have always had a talent for magic, and that was why I had been sorted into Slytherin, but it also had to do with studying a lot. I have always stayed at Hogwarts during the holidays (except for the summer holidays, nobody was allowed to stay during that holiday, but I had stayed if it had been allowed) and since nearly no one stayed during holidays, I had to entertain myself. My friends had every holiday asked me why I stayed at Hogwarts. I have never told them the truth, not even Lucius. I always had new lies, since telling the truth had not been an option. Telling them my father would always be drunk and abuse me and my mother? Never.

Lucius had offered to let me stay at his Manor for a while, to relax after so much stress, but I had not liked the idea. I relax when I'm alone. People only want to do stuff together, talk or whatever. I had not liked to talk. I had been tired and had just needed some time for myself. And even if I had gone to his Manor, Ellea would have been there and seeing her was not something I had looked forward to. I had politely declined and Lucius had understood.

At home, I walked upstairs to sleep. I hadn't slept much during my time at St Mungo's. Well, not after the treatment. I had slept enough due to the potions and my body had decided it was done sleeping. Not that my brain would have let me sleep if my body had even wanted to. The thoughts about the future had kept me awake. It had taken a long time to make an actual decision. What were possible options? Well, anything I wanted. But what was what I actually wanted? I had had no idea. But I had finally made a decision. But was it truly the right one?

I had made a list with questions for myself:

Question 1: Do you want a child?

Answer: I have never wanted one, but now I have, so what can I do with her?

Question 2: You want to actually get rid of the child, what are the possible options?

Answer: Putting her up for adoption? No, she's too old for that now. She knows I'm her biological father and if she ever tells someone about it, I'm the bad guy.

Question 3: Now you can't come up with a good option to get rid of the child, you have to keep it, right?

Answer: Yes, I'm afraid so.

Question 4: But you don't want to be a father, what are you going to do then?

It had taken a long time to come up with an answer. I had never wanted a child indeed, but now I had one, would I neglect it because I had never wanted the care? What kind of man would ever be such a loser? Well, my father had been such a loser and I had sworn I would never become like him. So what then? Keeping the child and taking actual care of it? But that was exactly like I had not wanted it.

But after a lot of thinking, the idea had come. School. Hogwarts is a boarding school. Just one year of trying to care for her and then sending her off to Hogwarts the rest of the year. One problem. I lived at Hogwarts as well. I worked there. My job as Potions Master had been one of the few things I had ever enjoyed in life. Giving that up because I had made one mistake with a stupid body part? Never.

But then I had remembered there were more magical schools than Hogwarts. Durmstrang for example. Lucius had wanted to send Draco there, but Narcissa had protested, because of the distance from home. But for me, the farther the distance, the better. Unfortunately, Igor Karkaroff was the Headmaster, a Death Eater. Durmstrang taught its students how to perform Dark Arts. And if anyone would find out I had sent her to that kind of school, what would that do to my reputation? I had already been accused of being a Death Eater after the First Wizarding War, but thanks to Dumbledore's story about how I had always been his spy, they have never prosecuted me. It would draw a lot of suspicion if I would send my own daughter to a school like that.

But what about Beauxbatons? A school with a perfect reputation, good education and above all, in France, so far away. Yes, Beauxbatons it would be.

So caring for her for a year, then sending her to France and then just going on with my life as if it had never happened.

Just one problem, that one year. What about my job? She couldn't live at Hogwarts. I didn't want anyone to see her. I hoped everyone would quickly forget anything that had happened, but with her close, who would? No, she had to stay somewhere else. But if I left her somewhere else I couldn't take care of her. And if I found someone to take the care, what if anyone found out? I would be seen as a bad father and everyone would talk about us again. What to do?

It had taken another day to figure that one out, but I had come up with a solution to that problem, Hogsmeade. Minerva had lived in Hogsmeade for years and would travel between there and Hogwarts every day, without the student's knowledge. I could do the same if I found a place to live in Hogsmeade. There she could stay the whole day. But the whole day alone? She was young. That would definitely be neglectful.

Maybe she could help around a shop or something? That way she would be busy and accompanied the whole day. Yes, that was it. I only had to find those places.

It was perfect. I wouldn't neglect her like my father had done to me, so I would keep my promise to myself. And I could keep my job as Potions Master. And I didn't have to take too much care of her. The perfect solution, which had taken a lot of days to figure out. Too much, but there was a solution and that's what counts.

I have spent most of my alone time in a chair, reading, thinking about all that had happened and praising myself for my own ingenuity to come up with a solution like this one. But to make the plan happen, I needed a place to live in Hogsmeade and a shop she could work in.

I wrote a letter to Dumbledore to ask if he knew a place in Hogsmeade we could live in. He had quickly responded. He knew a shop owner who would let us rent the apartment above his shop. Dumbledore had asked various shop owners if they were in need of people, but none had seemed to be looking for employees. However, he had also asked Madam Rosmerta of the Three Broomsticks pub and she had been willing to help out. She had to look first if Ellea was suitable for working there, but she had had good hopes.

Dumbledore had also asked if he could come over to talk, but I had politely replied I did not want that. Me and the girl had to sort out some things together first. So the next day, I went to Malfoy Manor to pick her up.

She had been playing in the enormous garden with Draco, both on a broom. I had been surprised to see her on a broom, like a real witch, but the most surprising had been she seemed to be rather good at it. I had always imagined she would be good at performing magic with a wand, since she had shown great interest in that, but flying? That required a level of courage most people out of Muggle families lacked in the beginning. However, she had stayed with the Malfoy's for quite a while. They had probably pushed her over the edge.

She had been surprised to see me and had landed to greet me. I had greeted her and asked where she had learned the flying. She had replied she had learned it from Draco, who had looked proudly to his own broom.

Somewhere, deep down, I had felt pride. She had shown she could fly on a broom, a difficult thing to master at first. For a moment I had even thought _'maybe she has gotten my talent for magic'_, but I had quickly banned that thought out of my head. Maybe she had indeed, but that wasn't something to be proud of. Someone inheriting my DNA, my traits, after not wanting it. Just a stupid mistake, nothing to be proud of.

I had told her to just be careful and had walked inside to meet up with Lucius, who had been happy to see me.

Their house-elf had prepared a tasty dinner and we had talked for almost the whole evening, until the moment Lucius had asked me to accompany him to the library.

"And? What have you decided?" Lucius had asked curiously.

I had explained my complete plan and Lucius had been surprised by it.

"But if you don't want a child, why are you going to take care of her for a whole year?"

"I'm going to Hogwarts in the morning, she to Madam Rosmerta and after supper we go to the apartment. I will barely see her."

Lucius had shaken his head. "A child will need more then food and occupation, Severus," he had commented. "A child needs a parent for guidance, a person to learn from."

"I have already told you she will have Madam Rosmerta during the day, Lucius," I had stated agitatedly.

Lucius has shaken his head again. "That isn't the same, Severus. What kind of fatherly tasks will you get when you carry on with this plan of yours? None. You won't become a father by doing it this way and yet you want to do it this way. But why? You could have even sent her to a Muggle boarding school, but yet you haven't decided that. You are fooling yourself by telling yourself you will be a father by taking her into your home, but being a father requires _real_ care."

"What do you know about _real_ care!? You are at the Ministry the whole day! You are doing the exact same thing!"

Lucius had laughed, clearly fake. "Who do you think has taught my son how to fly on his broomstick? Me. Who do you think has taken him to quidditch matches, because he's a major fan? Me. And who do you think is learning him about purity of blood? Me." Lucius had looked to the window, then back at me. "And above all, a child needs love."

I had stayed silent. He had talked me into a corner. Love, giving her love. I had never wanted to give her love. That had been the thing I had wanted to skip over with this idea. Being a father without truly being one. But would I truly be a father without giving her love? My father had never given me love, along with a lot of other things. Maybe I had just forgotten that was where parenting was truly about. Not only practical things make you a father. Love, compassion, that was where it was truly about and Lucius had made me realise that. I would do it differently. The plan would stay the same, but I had to even be there for her the moment after Hogwarts. I had to do my best to talk to her and to even make a small bond between us during the year I had to care for her.

That evening, I had taken her home with me, to Cokeworth. She had been happy to go back. She had told me she liked it there. For a moment, I had thought she lied. Nobody had ever liked Cokeworth. A town located near a dirty river, the bank of which is strewn with litter. There is also a disused mill with a tall chimney. Cokeworth would never win a prize for its beauty, but as I had looked at her, her eyes, I saw she hadn't lied. She has been the first person to ever find it a nice place to grow up. If Lucius had been right about the guidance, the first thing I would learn her would be: taste.

Lucius had also told me I had to learn her things. And, well, I am a teacher, so I gave her lessons in herbology, the theory behind magic and my second favourite: potion-making. I hadn't wanted to teach her other things, since those were forbidden- the Dark Arts- or they required a wand.

I have always enjoyed teaching her. She was a good student. Didn't have an exceptional talent for potions, but she wasn't very bad either. She had inherited a lot of my appearance, some of my traits- the way she spoke sometimes-, liked reading and seemed to have a talent for magic- the flying on the broom-. I had actually been glad to see she had not inherited my talent for potions. It had been scary to see how much we had in common.

She went to the Manor to play with Draco quite often. Narcissa had found it comforting to see Draco had made a new friend. Lucius had found it comforting that his son and my daughter could get along well, since we were such good friends.

After she had returned from the Manor I would ask her how it had been- showing interest in her life-. She would most of the times tell me she had flown on a broomstick. Sometimes I felt a bit afraid when she told me how high she had flown. What if she fell off? She would be dead or end up in St Mungo's and both options were terrible. But I let her do her thing. She seemed to like it and I had seen she could do it quite well. And if it went wrong somehow, she still would have had Draco… Okay, she would have been good as dead, but the idea she was accompanied had felt good.

It went on like this till the summer holiday. Then, I had told her about my plans for the future.

At first, she had not been fond of the idea of a 'babysitter'. She had made it through quite some bad problems and therefore thought she could do it all on her own, but after some convincing, she had given in.

I had taken her to Madam Rosmerta, who had tested her and found her to be a good employee. She could help out with small chores, but I got the idea she liked the company the most. She did not have any other employees and, apart from some customers, she didn't have much company during the day.

And so it happened. We started living above Dogweed and Deathcap, the Herbology shop, and Ellea seemed to feel at home in the little village.

After waking up, she made some breakfast for herself. I checked if I had all my stuff, like checked homework, tests or whatever school stuff I had taken home to work on. After that, I would go off to Hogwarts, while she ate her breakfast- I ate at Hogwarts- and entertained herself till 10:30 AM. At that time, the Three Broomsticks pub would open and prepare for guests who wanted lunch.

Ellea's work was appreciated by Madam Rosmerta, which had made her feel even more at home. After the both of us had worked, we would return to the apartment and spend the evening together, mostly reading, or talking about our day.

She was extremely interested in Hogwarts, since the lights of the enormous castle could be seen by nightfall and glittered on the lake like gold. She would watch through the window every night and imagine how her time at the magical castle would be. How do I know? I had had the same as a child. My mom had told me everything about Hogwarts and I had always wanted to hear the stories over and over again. That had made me think there would be better times. Because of that, I thought she wasn't truly happy with the situation, but who would be? Her parents were dead and after a lot of problems she now lived with her biological father, who she didn't know, in a town, she had never heard of, and saw magical things day in day out she could apparently do as well later on. Not a situation to be all too happy about.

That was why I was so hesitant with telling her she would never attend Hogwarts. I have tried talking badly about Hogwarts to let her make up her mind and hopefully would want to go to another school. However, she was steadfast, like her mother had always been. Nothing could make up her mind.

Ellea had been happy with the company of Madam Rosmerta. She had learned her how to make Butter Beers from the tap and had told her it was an important skill for when the students of Hogwarts would have their first trip of the year to Hogsmeade. I had startled to hear that, since I had forgotten about the trips to Hogsmeade. No one was allowed to see her, so what about the trips to Hogsmeade? Well, she just wasn't allowed to be in Hogsmeade during the trip. But where would I leave her then? I had decided she would just have a day at home, free of any work.

I had expected the news wouldn't land that well, since she and Madam Rosmerta had really looked forward to it, but when the time had come to tell her, she had understood the situation quite well. Yes, she had been disappointed, but had understood this was the best. So nobody would start writing about us in the Daily Prophet again. We had not even had an argument about it. She had looked out of the window, to the castle and had shrugged in defeat. I knew she had thought about how she would get her trip later on. What she hadn't known was how she wouldn't. I had not known how to tell her that, since she had looked so much forward to it and I know how that feels. Therefore I had waited till the last moment.

Three weeks before the summer holidays I had told her she wouldn't attend Hogwarts, but Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, in France.

I had explained I had known from the beginning she would fall in love with Hogwarts if we lived in Hogsmeade, but there was no other way. I had pointed at the reason students at Hogwarts weren't allowed to see her during their trips to Hogwarts. That was the same reasons she was not allowed to attend Hogwarts herself. I had said I was afraid people would bully her for the past.

She had been upset she wasn't allowed attend after so much dreaming about the possible magical moments at Hogwarts. And angry I hadn't told her sooner, which I had understood. She had sneered I did it so students would not laugh at me, that I shamed myself for her. I had become angry as well for saying that. It had been partly right and that had stressed me out.

We had ended up in a big argument which had ended with me saying: "I don't care what you think about it, you are going!" Later, I had felt a bit guilty about saying it so directly, but as a matter of fact, it was the truth.

We haven't spoken for two days. After that, I had tried to make up by explaining I had waited with telling her, because she had wanted to attend to Hogwarts so badly. But that this was really the best for the both of us.

She had understood and had assented.

During the summer holiday we went back to Cokeworth. From there, we would travel to Diagon Alley on day to buy her needed school supplies.

I searched for the right books, quills, parchment and so on, while she would get a school uniform at Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.

Finding the right books had been harder than expected. And I had known they were in French from the beginning. I had searched in two bookshops, but none had seemed to sell those books. Who would ever buy those? And that was exactly a good thing when I thought longer about it, but not at the moment actually. But fortunately, the third shop had had the books, somewhere, hidden in a dark corner, underneath layers of dust.

Outside, I had spotted her and taken her to the best wand shop, Ollivanders.

She had to brake a lamp and make a lot of boxes with wands fall on the ground first before Mr. Ollivander had found the right wand.

Beech with Dragon heartstring inside. "The true match for a beech wand will be, if young, wise beyond his or her years, and if full-grown, rich in understanding and experience. Beech wands perform very weakly for the narrow-minded and intolerant," Mr. Ollivander had explained. "Compared with the power of the Dragon Heartstring, this wand can perform powerful magic, when in the hands of a talented person."

And there it had been again, that strange feeling of pride. Why? She had just gotten a wand? And why would I feel pride in the first place? Had I started caring for the girl!? That could have never been right. I never cared about someone. And certainly not for a little girl, just because she had my DNA.

At the end of our search for the needed school supplies, she had asked if she was allowed to meet up with a friend she had made. I had startled, since I thought I had clearly told her to not search for contact with other people. She had explained the story and it had sounded the boy had clearly no idea about what was going on. I had still doubted if she was allowed to, but I had realised she had been pretty isolated from children of her age the past year. She had behaved pretty well and as a teacher I knew good behaviour had to be rewarded sometimes. I had warned her she had to keep the past a secret and she had been very happy to go.

After the day with her new 'friend', she had promised him to write him from France and he had promised to write back. I had been in stress about the new situation, since I had hoped all connections with the United Kingdom would end after her departure to France, but the boy had appeared to be stickier than I had expected. I had expected it would stay by that one meetup at Diagon Alley. However, he apparently wanted to keep contact with her. What if he ever told his friends about her? Wouldn't they see one plus one is two? Maybe. The boy had to stop writing her, forget her, but how?

The day of her departure to Beauxbatons had come sooner than it had felt. Living with someone else around had become more normal and if I have to be honest, she wasn't the worst child to be around. She hadn't asked for too much attention and had enjoyed retreating into her own fantasy world when she stared out of the window, her new wand in her hands.

A Beauxbatons' carriage had come to pick her up in London. Our farewell had been awkward, to say the least. I had not known what to do or what to say, neither had she. So I had given her a quick pat on the shoulder and that had been it. And before we had both realised it, the carriage had flown high up the sky. I had declared myself a fool for acting so awkwardly about just saying goodbye, but even after the whole ordeal, I had not come up with something better.

I had gotten rid of the girl and it had felt as a great relieve at that moment. I could go on with my life like before and no child to interfere that. She would have gotten to a boarding school anyway and Hogwarts had never been an option, so no need to feel guilty about sending her to entire different country all by herself.

We had agreed to write, since I had seen her stress of going to a strange country. I had agreed since that had seen like a fatherly thing to do, like Lucius would have described it. And since I had made the agreement with myself to be better than my own father, it had felt as an obligation.

The start had gone fine. She got good grades and her teachers had said she had quite a talent for magic. I had felt pride again, but had pushed the feeling away again. I hated the feeling. Feeling pride about a mistake? Never. Maybe using Occlumency to push the feeling away forever? No, I knew the reason of feeling it was more difficult than just a thought. Occlumency was therefore too dangerous. But how could I keep myself from starting to care for the girl if we kept writing letters? If she would return to Cokeworth every summer? I couldn't stop writing, because then I would be a bad father. Same dumping her somewhere for the summers. Reducing the letters? Or just seeing her as someone else when I wrote them?

She wrote she had gotten friends and that they were really close. I had just hoped she would be smart enough to not tell them who she really was. She has never adopted my last name- not that I'm going to like it if she ever does- as hers and if no one would ever make a connection between us, no one would know we were family.

She had also stayed friends with the boy in England. They had kept writing on, to my great dismay. It had to stop. The boy had become a Hogwarts student, a Gryffindor, and if it would ever come out he wrote with my daughter, I could forget my old image within the school.

I gave him more detention than the others, so I could inspect him more closely than during the lessons. He was not the brightest lightbulb in the class and enjoyed things like charms, Care of Magical Creatures and above all quidditch. Not completely different from Ellea, but it had surprised me the two got along so well. She was smarter and had more interests in magic than him. She valued her ability more than he did. But they had written letters full of stories to each other, so there was something.

She had kept contact with Draco as well, which had done me a greater pleasure. She went to visit him during her next summer holiday and the two had played a lot of quidditch. However, she had also wanted to visit the family of her Gryffindor friend. He had told them about her and they had genuinely wanted to meet her. Keeping her away from the family would only draw suspicion, so I had allowed it, knowing I took a risk by doing that. However, Ellea had changed quite a lot during the year. Her long, wavy hair had changed to shorter hair, reaching to just above her shoulders- fashion in France apparently- and she had gotten way taller. Her black eyes have always shown a sparkle, due to her will to live life like every day is a new adventure. My eyes have turned dull after Lilly's death. But our hair remained greasy, our noses a quite prominent facial feature and both our skins had still been as pale as a snowflake. However, his family would probably not even make a connection between old Daily Prophet news and the new friend of their son.

And they hadn't. Everything had gone well. She would resume sending him letters in her second year. But since the first year had gone so well, I had felt less stress about it.

She would still write to Draco as well. I have once asked her what she found about his appointment of Seeker in a letter to her. She had responded she had heard the news from Draco. She had found it disgusting he had bought his way into the team. She had even asked me how I could ever allow that. And I had kind of agreed, but the boy was the son of my best friend and he had given the whole team the best broom available. Slytherin would make a chance at winning the cup.

Her contact with Draco worsened after that. Pity, since he was still the son of my best friend, but I couldn't force her to write him. And certainly not since her stay in France.

In her third year she had become a player for a quidditch team at her school. I have never enjoyed quidditch as much as others, but I had congratulated her and had even felt a bit of pride again. When I had noticed that, I had thrown away the letter into the burning fireplace and had drunk way too many glasses of Firewhisky.

It had always surprised me how smooth things were going. Everybody had forgotten about the past, or I had punished it out of them, one of the two. But then the big problem came: the Triwizard Tournament.

As soon as I had heard it would be held at Hogwarts, I had locked myself up in my dungeons to come up with a solution. And I had found one.

I send her a letter along with a potion. I had explained she had to take the potion a day before leaving Beauxbatons and had to stay there. The potion would make her sick for two days, so she couldn't come to Hogwarts. That would prevent being seen together.

I had invented the potion myself and knew the Madam Pomfrey of Beauxbatons wouldn't find a medicine before her departure to Hogwarts. After those two days, she would get better. But then it would be too late. The other students would have left already. And letting one student from France to Hogwarts would be way too much effort for one student.

She had not replied to my letter, so I had expected she had done like planned and therefore I had been extremely surprised to see her among the other Beauxbatons students during their arrival.

I had to speak to her in private without anyone noticing to find out what was going on, but finding that moment had been harder than I had thought. She was never alone. She always hung around her friends or that Ruben child. We had shared a lot of glares and I had been pretty sure she had understood I had wanted to talk to her. However, she had not answered to those looks.

And then, the Yule Ball. Parties have never been a hobby of mine, but this was an exceptionally bad evening. Teachers had asked other teachers for the Ball and had been dancing alongside students, as if they were equal. Seeing them blending in with the students had made me shake my head. Teachers were higher in rank then students. They should have never danced among other students. But who am I to tell them that?

I had asked no one. I had just not felt like it. Neither had I ever expected to feel like it. I have never enjoyed dancing, but when Lilly wanted, I would dance with her. Those memories of her, dancing in the only field with flowers outside Cokeworth… She had been the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And now, that beautiful body of hers lies underneath layers of dirt, alongside her douchebag of a husband. Not the most wonderful memory to link to dancing.

And then, Ellea came in with _her_ douchebag of a friend. I had kept an eye on her the whole evening, to see what happened. I had no idea what I was expecting, but seeing her in that gala dress of hers just made me suspicious. And by Merlin's beard how beautiful she looked in that green dress, the glitter of her dress sparkling in the white light of the icicles on the ceiling. It made me feel proud again, which I hated nearly more than thinking about James Potter.

I hid myself in a dark corner for the rest of the evening. Her eyes had later spotted me in my corner, but she kept it at looks she would sometimes give. The pride had nearly made me feel happy about the fact she had ignored my letter, but that had pushed the pride away. Being happy she had ignored my wishes? Never. I would speak to her later on. I had had to know why she had ignored it. She had only endangered my image by doing so. I knew she knew. But why would she still do it then?

I kept a close eye on her and the day after the Yule Ball, I saw her walking in a corridor, alone. I had grabbed her by her arm and pulled her to the side, hoping it would all go quicker that way. There had been a broom closet nearby. Not the nicest place for a conversation, but it was something. But what I hadn't counted on were her excellent duelling skills. She had grabbed her wanted and had yelled: "Everte Statum!"

And there I had suddenly laid down on the cold floor of the corridor. My back hurt, since I had not been used to being defeated in duelling. She just stood there, wand at the ready for the final blow, but when she saw my face, she lowered her wand.

"And where the hell is that good for!?" I had whispered on a furious tone, so hopefully no one would hear us talking.

"I can ask you the same! Sneaking up behind me and just pulling me aside!? You could have just asked me you know!" she had fairly pointed out.

I had quickly gotten up and pulled her into the broom closet.

"What are you doing!?" she had asked me when I had closet the door and had casted Lumos with my wand.

"I want to talk," I had simply said.

"And that needs to happen in a dusty broom closet!?"

"Yes it does. And you know why," I had to whisper, so possible students walking past the closet couldn't hear it, but it was hard for me to suppress the yelling. "And where did you learn to duel like that by the way?"

She had just shrugged and asked where I wanted to talk about in this 'very secret closet'.

A group of students passed the closet, clearly coming to the place because of her yelling a spell, but luckily, the group had continued walking.

When I had asked her why she had ignored my letter, she had just told me the nurse had found a way to cure her. That had only made me angrier than I had already been. I told her she could have never found a medicine that quickly, since I had invented the potion myself and had never used it before. She said she would just stay away from me and wanted to walk away, but I grabbed her arm and said we weren't done yet. I said I had inspected the boy she was having contact with and that a friendship between them would never go well. He was a Gryffindor and she was- if she had ever attended Hogwarts- clearly a Slytherin. There weren't friendships between Gryffindors and Slytherins and there would never be, since the two despised each other. She told me she would choose her own friends and that the two of them couldn't despise each other since she wasn't a Slytherin, because I had never let her attend Hogwarts. She had stormed out of the broom closet and that hed been it.

She had apparently always blamed me for the fact she had never been able to go to Hogwarts. Which she had the right to, but she really had to see I had done it out of our both interests. Now, she was clearly having teenage issues. Everything adults _say_ is crap, everything adults _do_ is crap and therefore I _was_ crap. Most parents must be really happy to send their teenage children to a boarding school for the entire year.

But maybe she had not only come for a small Hogwarts experience, but also for the Gryffindor boy. Would that be it? For Draco maybe? Probably not for Draco, but that was an option. Or was it only to start a rebellion against her parent? I had always thought she was smarter than that, but maybe the hormones were stronger than the mind. I couldn't imagine there could be another explanation than the ones I had come up with. So there probably was no other.

But she had done like she had said. No talking to me, no more looks. Only a quick look sometimes actually, but that hadn't bothered me. I had not known what to do with them, but what I was doing felt wrong and I had not known why. I was doing it because of our both interests. I convinced myself I was really doing the right thing and at the end I had accepted that.

Harry Potter had won the Triwizard Tournament unfortunately. I had hoped for Cedric, but he had died, to the surprise of everyone. The Dark Lord had returned and had killed the poor boy. I had not been there, due to my presence among other teachers during the game, but my Dark Mark had burned. It had terribly hurt my wrist, but I had to resist. At that moment, I knew the Dark Lord had returned and my whole world collapsed.

Before I had realised what the Dark Lord's return meant, Potter had returned with the poor boy's dead body. I had run to the corpse to cover it with my cloak. No one had to see his white, horrified face. It would only create fear from the audience.

No one had dared to believe Potter's story. And they had had all the right to be scared. The Dark Lord is one of the most powerful wizards ever lived. He performs magic one could only dream of. Fudge had made Potter look like a madman and I had nearly felt pity for the boy, since I knew everything he had said had been right. He was back. Voldemort had returned. Not in his former glory, but he was alive.

Karkaroff had not answered the Dark Lord's call. He had come to me before, concerned about the Dark Mark on his left forearm. The Mark had been growing darker throughout the school year, signalling the Dark Lord's growing strength. Karkaroff had feared his return, because he had betrayed too many of the Dark Lord's servants to be allowed back into the group of Death Eaters. He had even called out my name to save his own ass. Luckily, Dumbledore had saved mine that day by telling the court I had been spying for him. Karkaroff had betrayed Barty Crouch Junior and had gotten him into prison, along with many others. He had been afraid Voldemort would free them after he had returned and that they would come after him. He had been desperate for advice about his Dark Mark, but since he had called out my name as well at the day of the trial, I had not been eager to help him out. However, I had noticed the problem with mine as well. During the night of the Third Task of the Tournament he fled. I had considered doing so as well, but I had decided to stay. I would get myself out of problems like always. And even if I fled, the Dark Lord would find me. No matter where I went.

And later, the Dark Lord had summoned me. He had been so disappointed in me for not coming that night, but I had explained I could have never left the game, everyone would notice me leaving and after everyone knew he had returned, one plus one would be two. I would have not made a good spy for him if that had happened. I had explained I had always been loyal to him, spying Dumbledore for him. And he believed all of it.

I was back as a spy, the job I had hated the most in live. Back as a Death Eater, a job I had enjoyed in the past, but not anymore. And what would all of it mean to my own life as a teacher? And as a parent? Ellea is a half-blood, something the Dark Lord hates. Wizards having a relationship with a Muggle is bad enough already, but having one with a Squib? That was really dirty.

What would he do to me as punishment? Maybe I could talk myself out of it by saying I had not known her mother had been a Squib. That could be believable. But what about taking her into my home? Maybe he would see it as a thing that had to be done, just like Lucius. What if I had refused raising her? Drawing suspicion? I had been accused of being a Death Eater in the past. Karkaroff had accused me that day in front of the court. Maybe the Dark Lord would believe that. It was the best chance I had. If it wouldn't work, me and the child were dead.

But then something happened I had not counted on. The Dark Lord had believed me. All of it. But then he said: "You must hate yourself for making such a foolish mistake."

I nodded.

"It would have been better if she had not been born."

I nodded again.

"But we can make her non-existent now..."

I startled in front of him. Had he really meant he wanted to kill her? Yes, I had wanted her to never be born, but she had been and now she had the right to live.

"What do you think about it Severus? She is at Beauxbatons now, am I right? Go to France and kill her. Prove to me that you still believe in our cause, that you still believe in me. Too many of my former loyal followers aren't loyal to me anymore. Prove to me that you're still my most trustworthy Death Eater, Severus."

I had had no answer for a while. He had really asked me to kill someone. And not just someone. He had wanted me to kill my own flesh and blood.

"Have you grown to care for the girl, after all? How pathetic, Severus. I had expected more of you. But I understand. Killing a loved one is hard."

"I don't love her," I had stated coldly.

"Then tell me you do it, Severus."

If I had hesitated again, he would have known I had not wanted to do it, that I wasn't loyal anymore. He would have probably killed me right at the spot, so I had to say 'yes'. The hardest 'yes' to ever come out of my mouth.

"Good," The Dark Lord said. "But first you need to help the Malfoy boy with killing Dumbledore."

Another shock from my side.

"You are a teacher at Hogwarts. Give the boy everything he needs in order to do it."

"But my Lord, Dumbledore will kill him in a duel," I had said.

"I know. And that's why he has to come up with a smarter plan. But if he needs help, you are there."

I had hesitated to say something. It had all been too much at the moment.

"Don't disappoint me, Severus," the Dark Lord had warned me before walking out of the room.

Draco then spent most of his sixth year at Hogwarts repairing a Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement in order to secretly connect it with the one in Borgin and Burkes in Knockturn Alley. A smart plan. A bit too smart. So smart, I had not known about his plan at that time. I had offered my help so many times, to find out where he was up to, but he had refused everytime.

I have asked myself 'what if there will be a sudden attack?' many times. Well, Dumbledore would probably be killed, by me since he had asked for that favour. And after that I had to travel to France to kill my own daughter. Dumbledore would be unsavable, but Ellea on the other hand.

She had to disappear, for good, until it was all over, which could take many years, but how could she? Maybe it was better to not know. To let her make those decisions herself. The less I knew the better.

One night I wrote a letter to her with the message she had to hide herself. I had included quite some Galleons for her to live off for a while. Hopefully it would work.

Unfortunately, The Battle of the Astronomy Tower took place. And I have indeed killed Dumbledore. But Draco's soul had been spared. He has not killed anyone. But what about my soul? Dumbledore has never considered mine all that important. He had used me for years, for the greater good of course. I have spared many lives by doing things for Dumbledore, but I had sold my soul in return. There was nothing left of mine. I can't remember the exact moment I have lost it. It has probably happened while being his spy. It has slipped through me hands like water. I would never get it back.

I was on the run with some other Death Eaters now. The Dark Lord's order to go and kill Ellea could come any minute now. That meant I had to travel to France and pretend I tried to find her. But what would the Dark Lord say if I would tell him I had not found her? One of his most competent Death Eaters couldn't track down a teenage girl. But not just a girl. His daughter. Searching for his own daughter to kill her. But he couldn't find her. What a coincidence. The Dark Lord isn't stupid.

What if he would send other Death Eaters after that? They would certainly find and kill her. Maybe out of punishment for me. Maybe he would kill me for proving him I wasn't obeying him anymore. Well, I could live with that. I have been close to being found out I'm a spy many times. Being on the edge of dying isn't something new to me. And I wasn't afraid of dying itself. It would be more like finally finding rest. When was the last time I had truly enjoyed something?

I just had to travel to France and come back empty handed. If I decided to flee as well, The Order would have no one inside the Dark Lord's ranks anymore. No more information about upcoming plans, no more names of Death Eaters, nothing. Then there would be no chance of winning anymore.

No, I had to return. But what if I lied she was dead? Would he go to France to check? No chance. But maybe he would use Occlumency to search for my memory of doing it. Then there wouldn't be one.

I had to use Occlumency to create a memory, a very strong one. And that was what I did. I created a short story of me and Ellea. How I infiltrated Beauxbatons, sneaked into the castle and stood next to her bed. And then... the Killing Curse. One of my worst memories ever. Fortunately, it wasn't real. Unfortunately, I had to make it feel real by using Occlumency.

I had worked for two nights to get the memory into my mind. Hopefully it would fool the Dark Lord.

A few days after killing my dear headmaster Dumbledore, the Dark Lord had summoned me to congratulate me with my success in killing Dumbledore. The act itself had already made my soul split to the bone, but his congratulation nearly made me cry. I had killed the one person on the entire earth who had given me strength after dark times. And Voldemort had congratulated me for that.

However, the act had shown him I was truly loyal to his cause. He knew how much Dumbledore had meant to me. He knew it damn well. Therefore, killing Ellea had not been very important anymore. Seizing the power in the Wizarding World had his priority. And every Death Eater was needed to help. Ellea would come later according to him, which had sent a shiver down my spine. He had had an important job in mind for me, becoming headmaster of Hogwarts.

I had been surprised in the beginning, but from his point of view it has been a wise decision.

Now, I'm Hogwarts headmaster. I have not heard anything from Ellea since my last letter, which is actually pretty good, although it makes me feel very scared and worried. What if the Dark Lord will suddenly ask me to leave my position for a few days to go and find her? Then I still have my memory, but will that be enough?

I'm sitting behind my desk now, writing all of this down. It's nearly past midnight. The stars in the night sky shine like Lily's eyes had always done.

Her son is currently hiding for the Dark Lord. I'm trying to save him and help The Order to defeat the Dark Lord, but I'm afraid they will not be strong enough to stop him and his Death Eaters. But we will try. Or well, they will try while I'm gathering useful information. I will do everything in my power to protect Ellea, but most of it will be up to her. She has to stay hidden till this is all over. However, I'm afraid it will never be over. I will probably never see her anymore, but I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm not sure about anything lately. Everything stresses me out. Being on both sides requires a lot of energy as well. I retreat in my office quite a lot, thinking about plans and at the moment, writing.

I need all of this out of my system. Everything is too much at the moment. I need to talk to someone, but there's no one I can trust, therefore this letter. I'm the only person I can trust. And no one might ever find out about this. Therefore, I will throw this letter into the burning fireplace when I'm done. And that moment is now. Amycus Carrow and Alecto Carrow, his sister, want to talk to me later on this day. Knowing them, that never means something good.

Sincerely myself,

The Half-Blood Prince

**The End**


End file.
